The Funny Truth
Dive into laughter-filled conversations and enlightening discussions on 'The Funny Truth' with your host Adam Jay, as he brings together a diverse array of guests, from comedians to experts, musicians to authors, uncovering the hilarious and thought-provoking truths that make life worth laughing about.
The Funny Truth
Exploring Shocking TikTok Conspiracies With Dez O'Neal
Ever found yourself caught between a chuckle and a trip down sports nostalgia lane? That's where Dez O'Neal and I land this week, blending stand-up comedy insights with hearty reflections on basketball yesteryears. Dez is revving up for a night of gut-busters at Dallas Comedy Club, and I'm riding shotgun on the feature act. We're serving up laughter all night for 2 shows at 7:30 and 9:30. (Click Here To Get Your Tickets)
Or go to https://dallas-comedyclub.com/shows and click shows >> May 3rd >> and buy your tickets.
Switching from a double-dribble to a full-court press, our chat gets personal as we mull over Kobe Bryant's legacy and how the global pandemic nudged our lives onto unexpected paths. The high stakes of Texas poker rooms and the quirky underground UNO scene bring a lighter touch to the conversation. And if you think sports betting is all about the money, wait until we reveal the darker parallels with game-fixing scandals that'll have you questioning every play.
Tune in as we navigate the algorithmic rabbit hole of TikTok, where apocalyptic prophecies meet divine revelations between scrolls. The Dallas Comedy Club's facelift and its magnetic pull for fresh comedic talent spell a bright future for the local laugh scene. Wading through the nuances of race in comedy, Dez and I get real about the tightrope walk of authenticity atop audience expectations. If you're in for tales that tackle the hilarity and heartache of the stand-up life with a side of sports and societal musings, this conversation with Dez O'Neill is your ticket.
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Follow Dez @dezonealcomedy on Instagram and TikTok!
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This week's episode, our guest is Dez O'Neill. Now Dez is one of the best comedians coming out of Dallas, Texas. I actually met Dez last year when we did two shows at the Hyenas Comedy Club with headliner Neil Nanda rest in peace and Dallas legend Ralph Barbosa. Now this Friday, may 3rd, dez will be headlining at Dallas Comedy Club for two shows 7.30 and 9 930, and I'll be featuring for him on both of those shows. Now you can get the link to the tickets for the show. They'll be provided in the show notes or you can go straight to the Dallas Comedy Club website and get your tickets there. I encourage you to get your tickets as soon as possible before they sell out and for weekly updates, make sure you subscribe to the Funny Truth Podcast wherever you stream podcasts. This is the Funny Truth Podcast with Adam J.
Speaker 3:That is the funny truth.
Speaker 1:What kind of papers do you use to roll up?
Speaker 2:Bro, I use these little bob marley papers. Man, it's some brand by bob marley.
Speaker 1:Bob marley, pure hemp oh yeah, I like that. I like the hemp, perhaps is it. Is it cbd?
Speaker 2:no, it's not cbd, it's not cb papers. Okay, pure hemp paper.
Speaker 1:I remember when I was getting into weed heavy in college, I was like I'm going to learn how to roll blunts and roll joints and I really could never. I never attempted the backwoods. That's the only one that's like the expert.
Speaker 2:I like rolling blunts, like the have you ever had a palm tree?
Speaker 1:leaf Backwoods. That's the only one that's like the expert I like rolling nuts. Have you ever had a palm tree leaf?
Speaker 2:No, Never had no palm tree leaf. They come off a tree For real.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when I would buy a blunt at this dispensary back when I was living in Oregon, they had it was wrapped in a palm. You could buy like a palm. It was wrapped in a palm tree so it burned like super slow. It was like smoking a cigar and stuff because it came from the factory. I like those and I like they would have like hemp blunt wraps that would be like CBD. Those are cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've been trying to be a little healthier man. I used to be on those swishy sweets and it might give you asthma, and I don't even have it for real how old are you? 33 33.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, you're close, I'm 30. I just I just hit 30 this year, bro, congrats, I get yeah another year around the sun, bro.
Speaker 1:yeah, I was talking about that on stage. I was like I mean, I'm 30. He's catching up, bro, because I haven, ever since I got done playing basketball when I was 22,. I don't think I've done cardio. Well, yeah, I did MMA for a little bit. I trained a lot of Muay Thai and some Jiu-Jitsu, but that was not basketball cardio. Because I joined a city league team, I swore I was retired from basketball. I was like done, I don't give a shit about this anymore.
Speaker 1:A couple I swore I was retired from basketball. I was like done, I don't give a shit about this anymore. And then a couple of comedians and some people were like yo, we're doing a city league team out here in Phoenix.
Speaker 2:And I was like okay, I'll do it. Yeah, I'm in the league myself.
Speaker 1:Are you yeah? Yeah, I suck now, dude. I'm horrible. First game I was probably five minutes in dude and I was like I've never thrown up from running before and I was like I had to call you about to throw up I did, I did. I was like this close to doing it on the court, like in front of family you caught it oh yeah, I was I. They were like where'd adam go? Like we thought you were mad off the court. I was like no bro, I was about to puke all over the court.
Speaker 2:Damn. Was you drinking the night before or something, probably.
Speaker 1:Probably that is the one time I threw up. I threw up one other time in college when I was on the team, because the coach got mad one day and made us run the whole practice and. I drank heavily the night before Puguing but everybody was puguing, so yeah, you fit in man. Yeah, I'm skinny, I don't really have to do cardio to not get I get.
Speaker 2:People think, just because you're not fat, you ain't yeah dude, bad say Dude.
Speaker 1:I was like like this is embarrassing, bro, and that's what made me good at basketball was my cardio. I was just like I just play good defense, we're hard, and then would just outrun people and shoot threes, typical white guy type of style yeah but like you need, you need that. Oh yeah, I'm a great role player. If I have really good players around me, I'll play that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're going to shine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I'm playing with the JV squad, I'm not even. I could come off the bench and you wouldn't even know I could play at the other level.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not going to take over off the bench and you wouldn't even know I could. I could play at the other level. Yeah, I think. Yeah, oh, my god, I'm not gonna take over. They were, I know they were excited to have me on the team and I'm like I'm the biggest bust, but it's good. Good cardio twice a week um, did you so? You, I know you play basketball.
Speaker 2:Did high school college. Played in high school and some college you look like a Juco guy. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I went to junior college, junior college.
Speaker 2:I wish it was. I guess I wish it was Paris College.
Speaker 1:I had one teammate transfer from there.
Speaker 2:That's the only school I know in Texas. That's a Juco.
Speaker 1:That's the only school, I know in Texas. That's the only reason I dropped it. Where'd you go?
Speaker 2:Harris TJC.
Speaker 1:Did you redshirt?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I redshirted too. Yeah, but how did they treat the red shirts when you played? Like a body that's how most I don't know most people, because I played. I played one, did two years at JUCO. One was a red shirt year, so I only used one year eligibility and then transferred, played at NCAA D2, simon Frazier and then transferred after one year eligibility and then, uh, transferred, played at, played at swad to simon frazier and then transferred after one year to a nia like small christian school and everybody had the same stories.
Speaker 1:They were all like. Everybody that was a juco player was like juco coach, was my best coach, like they, they, uh, they ran that shit like a military at most people's, most people who I would talk to. It's really like last year at all these schools. Uh, it's always funny how, like high school and a juco, the coach would be like that ain't gonna this shit ain't gonna work at the next level like you should do work at the next level, like if you were, if you were really good, uh, and your gpa was a 0.8 and you skipped.
Speaker 1:You skipped weightlifting and you'd like, just like dude we had at my last school, we were like we were so good at my little nai school was like because our we had like 28 year old freshmen. It's like if you were in basketball shape in 28, it would make it a lot easier playing against 18 to 21 year olds, I think, and these guys were like good. There was this group of guys that were transfers from D1s, d2s and or they was cooking y'all y'all dude.
Speaker 1:I think my first year, my junior season D1s, d2s and or oh, they was cooking. Y'all, y'all dude. I think my first year, so my junior season. Our whole starting lineup is playing professionally and I think six guys on that team were all playing professionally so we were so good but there was like there there was zero discipline.
Speaker 1:Bro, like the best player, would just be sitting up in the bleachers just like, like, texting on his phone, and the coach was such a pussy. He'd be like um uh, uh, xavier, do you want, maybe want, to jump in a couple couple of these? Uh, he's just like he just look up and be like.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:He'd be like that would never work. I was like, well, it depends where you go.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:It was weird too. You would think that the coaching would be significantly better at these higher levels. It's like no, it's actually just guys who politic their way into a spot and then maybe they're good salespeople and can recruit people. The coach I had at Simon Fraser, he was such a good salesman, Such a good salesman, but his knowledge of the game I don't even think we watched film more than once. And my other coach, he overcomplicated basketball so much. I feel like people try and do that. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Did you ever remember when you played? Did you watch film? Not so much, no.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 2:Were you guys good it was pretty good.
Speaker 1:Was it in Texas? Is that NJCAA? Yeah, okay, usually those schools are better. Well, because they can give full rides like a, like a normal college you know, it's a two-year event yeah yeah, exactly, jimmy butler went to.
Speaker 2:I think jimmy butler went to cjc really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's one. He's one of my favorites. I was sad to see him get injured for the playoffs. I guess I don't really care. So you, the Mavericks, are your team. Are you born and raised in Dallas or the area? Where are you from? Yeah, man.
Speaker 2:The Mavs, bro. Let's go, bro, mavericks.
Speaker 1:MFF Mavericks Dude, I was. I mean, I'm from Portland and that was my team. But then I just kind of stopped liking them after a while because, like I don't know, that's what happens when your team sucks, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was nice when y'all had Brandon Roy.
Speaker 1:We were nice Dude. I started watching.
Speaker 2:Brandon Roy Aldridge.
Speaker 1:We were nicer before that, bro, when we went to the Lakers and lost in game seven.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, y'all had Bunzey Wells, scottie Pippen, rasheed Wallace, jermaine, on the Hill, I think, sabonis Goddamn Damon Stoudemire, goddamn me. I think we had this dude named Patterson. Yeah, that shit.
Speaker 1:We had Greg Anthony, y'all had this dude named Patterson yeah, that shit. We had Greg Anthony that shit. Yeah, I had.
Speaker 2:Zach Randolph off the bench. He was like a rookie on the bench.
Speaker 1:It was a stupid good team I was that ruined my childhood man, like because I hated Kobe until he died, and then I was like, ah, that's actually. I've never cried over a celebrity dying because I don't give a shit. I don't know them, but when Kobe died that one, I feel like anybody that played basketball.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did cry for some weird reason I had a comedian guy asshole and then I think about it I'd be like I really should have went off on his ass. He's like Dez, do you know Kobe? Because we was like leaving the show in Arkansas, we was leaving to grow, and literally I'm in the car and that's when I seen that Kobe died on my phone and then I like, teared up and shit, and he's straight up like this did you know kobe? Like no, I don't know kobe. But like I felt like I knew kobe. I watched this dude go to the prom, I watched his whole nba career yeah I mean, but it was what it was, I don't know.
Speaker 1:It felt like for me and probably a lot of people, it's what. It's just kind of the, the mindset that he embodied of just being excellent at what you do and being the best. And then it was like he'd only been retired for maybe a couple seasons and he was going to do other great things that he was just getting started on. And then the fact that his daughter was on there and it was like a whole aau team yeah, that was just something.
Speaker 1:They just made whole america just extra sad with that and just god that kind of set the tone for 2020 and then like things and I think that's when kovit came out kova came in like it was coming, but like I remember stuff getting shut down in like march it was like kobe died and then a little it was like a big thing about kobe.
Speaker 2:Then on the side you seen something about colvin on the side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember in the barber shop they were all like, yeah, bro, yes, I guess they're gonna. They're talking about maybe they're gonna have to quarantine shit. I was like that's not gonna happen. This was like like january. And then yeah, it happened and I, depending on where you lived, it was like everyone in the beginning was in the same boat, but then, like where I was, at oregon dude, they were so extra with everything.
Speaker 2:Bro, they had me thinking if I was outside I was going to jail, if they caught me outside I was getting locked up. I was terrified. Right, I was sitting in front of my dad's crib bro in my car and the police drove by and he, you know, flashed in the car. I'm like right there. He's like, oh, we're not on it. Like that. I was like, oh, okay, whatever that means. You know, I mean we still had it.
Speaker 1:We still had it, better than other, um other countries for sure in that, and every state was different. But, like I know australia, you had to be home by 10 o'clock and if you weren't, then you could get arrested. And they tracked everyone's phones to be like making sure that people were in their homes.
Speaker 2:Damn, and like people were, I guess people there was Australians that were like jumping the police officers that would be coming to their house to check and make sure they're home.
Speaker 1:Damn, I didn't know that would be coming to their house to check and make sure they're home. Yeah, I didn't know that. I'm still a white guy. I have those. I would probably be on some similar shit. I'm a big leave me alone kind of guy. That's a big reason why I left Portland. I left Portland because I just had started comedy right after they opened things up and then also I told my dad I was like if they bring these fucking masks back again, I'm out dude.
Speaker 2:I'm not doing it. And then, yeah, the mask was just stupid. To this day, when I see people with masks on, I get mad. Like I just be. Like, bro, what are you? What are you doing you in the car by yourself with a mask on? Bro, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:I look at uh them, the same way I look at girls that got like a septum piercing. Like I'm just you. You told me everything I need to know and when you're traveling it's funny because I was doing this comedy festival at the end of February in San Luis Obispo I had to fly to LAX. There's a good a high number of people wearing masks. From that point out, Getting to LAX, getting on a flight and then getting to this other small little city, it was not uncommon to see at least a couple people at all times with the masks on. That's just a vibe out there. I'm sure it's similar back home Versus out here, I imagine where you're at not many people.
Speaker 2:It still be some, but no at not many people. But it still be some, but no, not many yeah, it's at this point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2:At this point it's like bro, like, come on, bro, what are you like? Come on, you, trying to like show how safe you are, show how committed you. Some people was just too committed, like the people that was putting on gloves at the gas pump. I'm like, bro, I'm not gonna be putting on no gloves every time I'm at the gate. We've been putting on gloves, I mean, we've been raw dogging the gas pump for years and all of a sudden you want to put on a goddamn glove just to pump some gas. Come on, man. Yeah, like it was just too much, bro, it was just way too much going on. And I'm like dog, just wash your hands, eat healthy, cover your mouth right when you sneeze.
Speaker 1:That was the stupidest too was um, when all the toilet paper was gone from all the stores. But like they were, like it's it, it affects your immune system, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:But like you go to the whole food section and and all the, all the little supplements and everything's like those were fully stocked toilet paper gone and I swear to god, hand sanitizer smells different now than it used to work yeah, I don't know you would notice that I like I like the smell of hand sanitizer and then like the newer ones that came out during the covet times when you couldn't even get any, the smell of them was like it was gross dude. I was like they're using something different because there's so much brother.
Speaker 2:That's crazy work, bro. Like that's the thing, bro. They're making everything different now, like y'all got a wendy's. You know wendy's is uh, of course does arizona have a wendy's?
Speaker 1:bro, we have everything here, we have okay, okay, I'll be thinking something we're like y'all ain't got no Church's chicken. Come on.
Speaker 2:Y'all got a Church's.
Speaker 1:Yeah. We have a Canes, we have a Church's, we got Popeye's, we got Chick-fil-A all within. I probably have all that within like a five mile radius of where I'm at.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought Church's was just tickets, oh no.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I forgot where I was going with that. Uh, we were talking about something. Oh, you're talking about. You're talking about they're changing everything. You're saying something about wendy's.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, wendy's, though back in the day, wendy's, bro, they burgers used to be real burgers, dog like now. They burgers look like breakfast sandwiches, you, you see this shit, they done shrunk the shit out they burgers, bro. They burgers look like breakfast sandwiches. You see this shit, they done shrunk the shit out of their burgers, bro. Their burgers look like straight breakfast sandwiches. I'm like either I done turned into Shaq or these burgers done shrunk, oh dude everything's shrunk bro. The price going up and food is getting smoked.
Speaker 1:And then see that thing with Wendy's. They were talking about having surge pricing like they do for Uber. Uber it's more. It's more or less expensive at certain times of the day oh no, they tripping now.
Speaker 2:Now they. Now they showing the fuck out. Now y'all showing the fuck out. Them burgers ain't even good in any time of the damn day you talking about this time of the day, it's gonna be higher.
Speaker 1:I get the same thing from Wendy. It's always the chicken nuggets Probably disgusting, but with that honey mustard sauce my girl was just. We were just having this conversation yesterday about the chicken selects from McDonald's. Used to come with this, with this buffalo sauce and uh, now it's like a different.
Speaker 1:It's also like the texture and everything's completely different. It used to be like a lot. It was a lot thinner, and now it's like really thick. I was like I wonder what goes into, because sometimes it's like was it just like some sales guy at the end of the contract was like, no, you need to start putting this in your buffalo sauce? And they're like we signed up with this guy for 10 years and we're not changing it until then. Or did they find an ingredient that was cheaper?
Speaker 2:because in corporations the whole guy was trying to find something, make something cheaper and save money, bro, and they don't give a fuck. It can be something like it ain't even. It's, not even it's plastic. It could be something as it ain't even real dairy or real. It could just be some damn supplement, fake filler. It could just be a filler you just eat straight filler. Like what the fuck is this bro?
Speaker 1:Did you ever? Did you ever watch that documentary of the McDonald's? I think it's called Founder. It was on Netflix.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's one of my favorite fucking movies.
Speaker 1:When he's making that milkshake? Yeah, powder mix.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that dude was upset about that milkshake. He was like he's like, hey, we can make a lot more money with this powder shit.
Speaker 1:Well, that's the thing in business. I've always been in business for myself and there's, like you know, people start a business and they fall in love with the business, which is good, I mean to an extent. But, like you, have to be like what am I going to do with this business? Am I going to keep working it? Am I going to sell it? Am I going to do something? Business Am I going to keep working it? Am I going to sell it? Am I going to do something? Because that's what happens with that shit. The one guy is like you're in the real estate business, and then he's like, oh shit, and then the other dudes are trying to just run it like how they were running it. Should have never let this guy in.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Donald's becomes what it becomes. But I think that's just interesting in general, that a lot of people that maybe get a lot like really upset with the news or things is that like a corporation's entire goal, like the entire goal of the ceo and the cfo and the coo and all those people that are voted, voted on by the shareholders, and they get. They're basically it's almost like an NFL team at that point, like a coaching staff, where, like, if the shareholders aren't happy at the end of the season, they just like, vote you out. They vote you out. You'd be like, nah, we don't. And so these guys and all they're looking at is the stock price and if it did better, and if the company was profitable for the quarter or the year, and so whatever you have to do to be profitable, and so you're like, oh, that's why a lot of corrupt shit happens. Not, I don't think it's a lot of times, I don't think it's like evil, I think it's just like stupidity.
Speaker 1:And then people at the very top of the company are making these decisions and then all the employees are just like I'm just here clocking in doing my and not they're not really involved they don't know um, like there's that series on netflix that was about like corporate it's called corporate greed or something where it's like there's like like a docu-series of like corporations that have been busted for like bad business practices, like I think it was Volkswagen in Germany I think it was Volkswagen or yeah, I think it was Volkswagen.
Speaker 1:They were like because you know clean energy and like less fuel emissions is kind of the trend now and they, you now Do you ever take your car through the DEQ? Do they have that in Texas?
Speaker 2:You talking about DEQ Dairy Queen.
Speaker 1:No, no, no.
Speaker 2:I fuck with Dairy Queen, bro. That shit good.
Speaker 1:The chicken strips with the gravy, get that.
Speaker 2:Blizzard, that damn Blizzard be busted. No, I fuck with nothing off.
Speaker 1:I don't know. All states are different. I was in oregon in uh in a very liberal y'all don't have no dq out there in oregon.
Speaker 2:You ain't finna? Tell me, hold on, y'all got a dq out there, arizona, yes no, phoenix no everything. No, phoenix has everything. Dq is Texas, bro, the commercial's DQ. That's what I like about Texas. Come on, bro, y'all don't have that.
Speaker 1:Y'all don't have that. I feel like Texas would have special rules, because people there are extra fat Texas and then the more south you get, bro.
Speaker 2:It's just like In the Wendy's's they had the Texas double so I'm like I didn't think. I didn't think it was out there in Oregon or you know, then they got didn't.
Speaker 1:On the flip side, there's I like to play poker. They got Texas hold'em. You can't even gamble legally in in texas, so why is it called texas hold them?
Speaker 3:I did I did fine.
Speaker 1:Last time I was there I was with uh remember, remember, bobby he was like the mexican guy he's like he's maybe mexican and black, but he uh said he's a glass. He ended up, we ended up hanging out with him that night and then, but he said he's glad he ended up hanging out with him that night. And then we went to he like started working at Hyena's after that for a little bit. It's like a security. Oh, I don't know, he knows, he knows everyone who's on the show, so probably yeah.
Speaker 1:But, I was going to say about oh yeah, yeah, he took me. He took me to like some nasty underground card room. When I was there, I was like over here, it was just like you do, but underground card room that sounds kinky yeah, dude, dude, it was gross. There was garbage on the floor, the floors were all stained. They just had this broken soda machine in the corner.
Speaker 2:They being a gambler, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:It was a bunch of all Asian and Indian people and then one or two old dudes that just wasn't trying to go home to their wife.
Speaker 2:Boy, because they done lost all their damn money. Is that one of the place you got to know like a certain name? You got to go in there and say maple syrup on a wednesday. It's not that bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you gotta like you gotta set up like a profile with them oh they charge you like per hour to play there, so it's not even ideal oh if you're not make, if you're not winning hands, and then you lose and lose it, yeah, it's, it's.
Speaker 1:Uh, that's what some casinos will do, like when you play poker, because they'll have their poker rooms, because you're not playing against the house, but like every hand, like when, when you put the, I don't know if you play poker, but you put the blinds in. To start, two people at the table have to put in. There's a minimum bet that has to go to start the pot. It circles around, but one person has to put in the big blind and another person puts in the small blind. They take one of those chips and they put it in their little jar.
Speaker 2:If they had like some underground UNO shit. Boy, I'm airing everybody out. Don't let them get an underground UNO tournament Shit. Tell all them Asian niggas, meet me down there. No, bitch, tell them, meet me in the underground UNO spot. No, I'm playing.
Speaker 1:I feel like Asian dudes would love yelling at UNO bro.
Speaker 2:I don't think they play UNO, bro. I ain't never seen it.
Speaker 1:No, fuck you, no, fuck you no, fuck you UNO.
Speaker 2:You y'all too.
Speaker 1:The Vietnamese in particular love to gamble dude.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:All the casinos.
Speaker 2:There's so many of them just ribbons when I be seeing that shit on ESPN. It always be some Asian dude. Be serious than a motherfucker. Yeah, professional gambler type shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was.
Speaker 2:I was on that for a minute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was like I think maybe, maybe I want to get into doing.
Speaker 2:I mean you hit on the well I'm, maybe I want to get into doing. I mean you hit on the I'm about to put your business out there. That's kind of gambling.
Speaker 1:Scratch house and shit like that. Oh yeah, yeah, I do scratch house. I go to the casino. I don't gamble a lot, though I usually have a set of limit to what I'm going to do. I was doing Texas Hold'em for a minute.
Speaker 2:I was deep in it. So what is Texas Hold'em? Is that some lotto shit?
Speaker 1:No, that's poker. That's poker. I was doing that online and then. I was doing it at the casino. I bought a bunch of books, bought like some software and was like studying poker every day and I went, I went, I went and did this tournament like 30 minutes from my house. I ended up taking second place First time ever in a tournament.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was like go for like a hundred something people. And then and I just really never kept up with it Cause like you gotta have, you either gotta have enough, cause you're going to lose when you gamble. But you need to have enough money to like lose. It's just like investing, but I can't call it investing. But you're going to go up and down like this and you need to be able to have some days where you're going to take some L's because it's going to happen versus, like that's called having a bankroll. So you got to have like when I was.
Speaker 1:Then I got into sports betting. I start the bankroll is just like one to three percent, or your unit size of what you bet on a bet is like one to three percent of your entire bankroll. You should have like daily and weekly limits on how much you're going to bet and if you're really confident, like my bankroll started at like 200 and I grew it to like 800 something. So I started with like $3 units and then I was doing like $20 units per bet. I was just slowly growing it. And then I had bills to pay and then I was like fuck, I lost, like had to take out like half my money and then I was like, fuck, I need to get back to this number. And then I just started throwing out bills.
Speaker 2:You ever you hit on the sports betting? Oh dude, it's insane.
Speaker 1:I would have never.
Speaker 2:You used to hit on them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I never did on them. Yeah, I never did. Like, like I said, I never would try. Like most people that do it will try and just hit like these crazy parlays, like turn a $5 bet into like $20,000. But I would just I was just trying to like turn 5 to 10, 10 to 20 and then slowly grow it. I would make a bunch of bets. I did a lot of player prop betting, people's points and rebounds and shit like that. What was you doing at home? I was doing all the apps there's so many out here. I was FanDuel, draftkings, espn, bet, caesar, sportsbook, betmgm. There's more.
Speaker 2:So you don't do it, no more.
Speaker 1:I still will. When I hit that, when I won $20,000 off a $3 scratch-off ticket, I was like I feel like I won at gambling. I never got into gambling because things were going good.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just doing it. Well, the thing with me I'm a comedian.
Speaker 1:Anything else is taking away from that, and so even if I'm good at it, I'm making money, I just eventually will quit because I just don't enjoy it. I did enjoy doing sports betting because I was, I've always been, a sports guy and I kind of think I fell off of sports for a few years and then that brought me back into like watching everything. Like I, I'll be watching WNBA games. I'll watch a full nine innings of baseball, like it keeps you. It definitely keeps you engaged in the game, cause.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:You have something invested in it.
Speaker 2:I remember I had a little bit going on and we was betting like the over and under, I guess, on like the outcome of the total score of the game. And this is when I knew it was some BS going on. It was like they stopped playing at a certain time. I was like, bro, y'all still can play, it's still time left. All of a sudden it got to a certain number. It's like somebody called and said hey, don't nobody shoot no more. Don't nobody foul no more. Don't nobody do nothing no more.
Speaker 1:I'm like bro y'all still can hoop.
Speaker 2:I was mad in the mud bro, you know what?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a situation like that. I was doing a spread bet. You know, how those work Not really Okay. So if a team will either be plus five and a half or minus five and a half, it'll change throughout the game for live betting. But basically if you're plus five and a half, that means you're the underdog, you have to lose. So if you're like I'm going to take Gonzaga at plus five and a half, that means you're going to take them to lose by less than five and a half points.
Speaker 2:Or they could win.
Speaker 1:And then on the other side, the favorite would be minus five and a half I'm gonna take kansas to win by more than five and a half and that's yeah, that's that's what it's called handicapping.
Speaker 1:That's how you make the game even and that's how the, that's how the sports book makes money. It's like if it's minus 110 you know I'm talking about you see the odds let's say, like minus 110 on each side, that means if you put 100 down on this, on on this team spread, and another person puts 100 down on this team spread, the winner is going to get their money back plus 90 dollars. But two people two people are putting 100 in and there 200. So the book's going to take the other $10. And that's that's basically how, how they do it. And then, as more people maybe pick and that's where you're seeing stuff, where you're like temple university. You see their basketball team is like under investigation for gambling on their games, like their whole, their whole program.
Speaker 1:Because? So what happens is like if a bunch of people are betting on one side of that spread, they start moving the spread up more and it starts changing to even out all that stuff.
Speaker 1:And Temple started out as like a it was like either a two and a half or three and a half point underdog and within like 30 minutes before tip off, he like it's something like that like crazy fast amount of time. All this money was bet on this spread and it pushed it all the way. It's like eight and a half points and then they lost by like 28 points. And uh, sports books are a business like if you do too good at sports betting, they will will kick you out.
Speaker 1:They do that all the time, Like so even when you do get, good at it. They'll just kick you out, like yeah, you're taking too much from us, you know what you're doing, can't have you, but that's they. They that's how Jonte Porter got caught was betting $80,000 on a parlay. That's including Jonte Porter stats and some other things. That's weird that somebody would bet that much on this specific guy who just happened to get hurt two minutes into the game.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:They have things that get flagged. That's suspicious behavior. That happened with them. These dudes, they getting caught up well, I mean, I'm like who knows if you're, if you're in financial trouble or something, you're like I could just put a bet down on the game today yeah um, and then, uh, this is the one where I was like, yeah, there's something fishy about this. I was. It was WNBA game bro.
Speaker 2:God damn they doing it in the WNBA too.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's where you would do it, because they actually don't make money in the WNBA, Like I remember.
Speaker 2:Oh a female did it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, dude, it was, it was. It was there's another sports book out here that was like, if you make one $50 bet, we'll give you this much in bonus bets after, after your bet clears. So I was like, okay, I'll bet $50. It's a summertime thing to bet on right now WNBA, so I bet on. I bet on like a Connecticut sun, la or Vegas aces game or something like that, and the spread was five and a the spread was five and a half.
Speaker 1:The spread was five and a half. I took the Sun plus five and a half, so to lose by less than five and a half. Dude, tell me why they were getting blown out. Then they brought it back. They actually took a lead. Then it was like back and forth. And then Vegas made some free throws to go up just six points, just right over what we needed, and then 30 seconds left on the clock, the girl gets the inbound and holds the ball.
Speaker 1:she didn't even try and take a shot wow you could easily score and get a steal, or they come as a free throw yeah we're getting the game. I was like that's. She just held the ball weird. I was like that's that's it yeah.
Speaker 1:And then I had a situation where this was not, this was not anybody like my friend betting. My friend played it. Uh, he played at Portland State and uh, just like small d1 and they were. The spread on the game was, I believe, 12 and a half. They were losing by 14. There was 10 seconds left on the clock. He was just dribbling it out. My friend went up and did like he was going to shake his hand and stole the ball from him and took it for a dunk. At the end they ended up losing by 12. A lot of people accused him of that. He was just being himself. But sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't, but nowadays, dude, with it so widespread, I think it's inevitable that it's going to happen. So you don't even know if you're watching the game, if your guy is even there for the team tonight.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he might be playing for the bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, pretty much I was going to say with the Mavs dude. When I fell off of being a Trailblazers fan, I became a big Mavs fan because I loved Eric Novisti. Yeah, I would go to every Dallas game when they'd come to Portland wearing his jersey. And then Portland fans were ruthless too. But yeah, dirk, that Dirk championship team.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:That wasn't even the best Mavericks team they ever had either.
Speaker 2:It really wasn't.
Speaker 1:It really wasn't, it was probably the best the year they lost to Heat. Yeah, I really wasn't, it was probably the best, the year they lost to the Heat. Yeah, I know that one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 06, man, that shit still hurt, that shit still hurt.
Speaker 1:It's always the championships you didn't win, bro, like my football team's, the Seahawks, and I never expected them to win anything. And then they did make it one year against the Steelers and the refs like, rigged that game like a motherfucker. They came out years later and they were like, yeah, the refs fucked that game. And then the next time they did win the Super Bowl, they won like 43-8. Yeah, and then the next year is when they threw that pick on the one-yard line, Rigged. The only Super Bowls I remember and think about are the two that we lost, not the one that we won.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really don't even remember the one against Pittsburgh. I don't remember what happened. They would say, the refs cheated.
Speaker 1:It was a really low scoring game and there was a play that they called like a terrible holding. The Seahawks threw a pass to the one yard line and it was either going to tie the game or maybe even give them a lead. They called a holding. That was like what? Holding?
Speaker 1:And then there was a goal line play where it shouldn't have been a touchdown and they called a touchdown. There was one other penalty that they called. There was like a goal line play where it shouldn't have been a touchdown and they called a touchdown. And there was like one other penalty that they called. That was like a horrible, horrible call that completely changed the outcome of the game. It was a really low scoring game. I think the final score was like 16-7 or something. Really low scoring, so it was a pretty boring game. I don't know man. Yeah, after college I was like, yes, putting on another grown man's jersey and watching before. It's kind of gay bro it's like because I don't know.
Speaker 1:you know, you, you meet these dudes and you like hung out with them and you're like I don't know where's Jersey, I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2:I wore my Kyrie Irving graphic tee yesterday watching the Mavs and I think about I'm like I'm older than this, nigga. I'm older than Kyrie, but I'm fools with Kyrie, bro. Like the Mavericks, we ain't never had a player like that. Come to the Mavericks, bro. We don't ever get players like a big name. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:You think about a big name player that we had.
Speaker 2:Jason Kidd that we didn't draft I'm talking about came to us in the prime of their career. Like anytime, it was like a big name free agent Steve Nash.
Speaker 1:You got Steve Nash.
Speaker 2:Steve Nash? Nobody would. We, we made Steve Nash and he left us and went to Phoenix. I'm talking about like, like, how Derron Williams was a free agent and his ass went to Brooklyn Well, new Jersey instead of coming to dallas. Uh, we could have got motherfucking up deandre jordan in his prime. He chose to stay with the clippers and then and then they always come back to dallas when they washed up. Deron williams came to dallas at the end of his career when he done both his knees jacked up. Deandre Jordan came to us when he was washed up and still it's like, bro, y'all always come back, but when y'all was in y'all prime, y'all never come. Tyree was like the first guy we got in free agency or through a trade in their prime. Yeah, a big name. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I think with the whole COVID and his stance on it and being like nah, fuck you, he's like that Aaron Rodgers of the NBA.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was like Kanye West and that's one thing I like about him too. He speak his mind type shit. He spoke on flat earth. People called him crazy and all type of shit. But it's just the fact he'll do that and I'm I'm the type of comedian like I'll be speaking about all type of conspiracies and people ostracize me and call me crazy and, you know, bully me on instagram or I mean on facebook. You know, just bully me on Instagram or I mean on Facebook, you know, just because I don't believe what they believe and whoop-de-whoop. So I just kind of related with Kyrie dog. I'm just kind of happy with the man. I'm not a flat earther, though. I'm a hollow earther.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm a square earther man.
Speaker 2:Set out the hollow earther.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's uh, I feel like people in general. Um, that's one of the reasons I call this podcast a funny truth is, like people uh are so especially people who laugh like if you ask a question about something you don't know and then you don't know that, it's like no, that's why I asked a question, yeah, it's like they'll laugh at, like they'll laugh at you for asking a question. Uh, like like they know everything, whereas, like people that are usually pretty smart know that they don't know.
Speaker 1:In my opinion, like you oh yeah, the more I read, the more I do something like man. I don't know, you're just. You're just taking for granted what I mean. I assume gravity exists, but I'm just taking the word of what everything in the books has said. I haven't personally proved gravity. Put the equation together exactly everything is regurgitation, that's like I think. I think where America's gone south is uh, we've all. The colleges are pretty much just all bought out by corporation and same with the government. It's all.
Speaker 1:They're making all the moves um like, like, all the like, the like. The john rockefeller like story I see on him where he I think it was New York University it was either that or Northwestern One of the two and he was like I'll fund your entire medical program but you have to use my textbooks and this teaching and it's like the textbooks for, like, medical students is just written by a lot of pharmaceutical companies.
Speaker 1:That's crazy right, and then you got people like uh, like a dr sebi is like ah, yeah, it's just dead dude, I don't know what happened. Crazy. It's like yeah, there's uh. Yeah, did you ever watch the? I watched the cat williams uh, joe rogan podcast and uh, they're just talking and he was just talking about Cat was just talking about. God already put everything on this earth that the humans need. It's not here by accident. You falling asleep, you falling asleep.
Speaker 2:No, I was trying to think of something Cat said. I know I ain't watched that whole part, but I remember one conspiracy he was talking about with the Smurfs.
Speaker 1:Well, he talked about that on Joe.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm talking about the Smurfs. He said something with an H. I forgot the name of the word.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, like a certain civilization of people I forgot the name of the word. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like a certain civilization of people. It was like it was something that don't have a mom or a dad that you can fucking create. I wish I could look it up, but I only have one phone, yeah.
Speaker 1:But the reason that all these stories and cartoons and in general stories exist is because it came from something. That's what he was saying. There's a reason that there's these stories of Bigfoot and these stories of.
Speaker 2:Bigfoot is in Hollow Earth. Bigfoot, Tupac, all them niggas is in Hollow Earth playing 2K.
Speaker 1:On the same token, like how all this shit's hidden in Antarctica. I'm like I don't doubt that, but I also don't think I would get on a plane to go out there and figure out and see for myself that sounds. What if it's really just the Antarctica that they say it is? It's just like negative 30 degrees and you can't live there. It's like not survivable.
Speaker 2:But I could also see them telling you it's not survivable, so that you would never, so your ass won't even don't even think about going, because we don't want you to even see what the fuck is over there yeah, that would make total sense why not control a motherfucker with fear? That's a big way to control him oh yeah, well, yeah, fear of.
Speaker 1:And then, like I think for men, like the biggest thing you could fear is like, yeah, I'll just come after your family, and it's like okay, fine, I won't go explore. I'm sorry, I won't do it, I'll stop.
Speaker 2:I stopped telling the truth so have you heard any theories about how to work?
Speaker 1:uh, I haven't not. Not too many on the. On the hollow earth man, I haven't. No, it's not in my algorithm. I've seen most, most of them. What's most fascinating to you, or what is it about Hollow Earth that makes you go?
Speaker 2:maybe we have something here uh, I don't know, I feel like they don't talk about it that much and I feel like flat earth is like the distraction you know, to distract you with that, but trying to keep you from knowing about hollow earth, you know. I mean, but they be talking about it in some movies and shit, like the new King Kong and Godzilla movie. They had Hollow Earth in there and there's been some movies.
Speaker 1:You went and saw King Kong and Godzilla.
Speaker 2:Hell, no, I seen a clip on. Well, no, I think I did see it at my, at the crib. I ain't go to the movies and see it. I can't go to the movies, I'm going to go to sleep, that's just. If I go sit down at the movies, they got them nice ass chairs. You put the recliner back. They sell that liquor. I'm asleep. You know what I mean. I seen Equalizer 3. I fell asleep three times in that motherfucker. I woke up. Denzel was still Pawpaw. Denzel was still in there trying to fight. I'm like bro, this old, I'm not believing this Pawpaw Denzel out here. All of a sudden he's an assassin ninja. All of a sudden he's a fucking power ninja. Like nah, man, you're fucking Denzel Washington. Go do some Denzel Washington type shit. You know what I mean. Go be a detective or.
Speaker 1:Goddamn, I'd never seen Training Day until like last year.
Speaker 2:That was peak Denzel there.
Speaker 1:My friend made me watch it. He said you never see. You know how you do that. I always feel like you could easily. It's an easy way to tell if a girl is into you If you just take any basic movie that everybody for the most part has seen, just be like, yeah, I've never seen that movie, and they'll be like you've never seen that and then they'll get you with the gotta watch it together.
Speaker 1:That's how you know yeah, like for for a white girl. Like just tell them you never seen, like, uh, pirates of the caribbean or star wars. What's that? Never heard of that one dude?
Speaker 2:oh yeah, and then then bam next thing you know you, then bam next thing you know you. Yeah, yeah, we watching a movie.
Speaker 1:Still never seen it.
Speaker 2:Still never seen it like for real, though.
Speaker 1:I thought it was funny you said King Kong and Godzilla because I saw some dude post on Facebook, I think maybe somebody from high school was like I just went and saw the new King Kong Godzilla and that movie sucked Total ripoff. I was like what the fuck? You pay money to go see king kong verse god no bro, I'm not.
Speaker 2:Any time I see a whole bunch of cgi and shit.
Speaker 1:I don't think I want to watch it because I almost feel like some of these movies now like here's a good white person movie, lord of the Rings, really good movies. Then there was like huge armies in these movies, but it's all like all real people. And then there's like crazy production and maybe it didn't look as nice because it was like what, early mid-2000s, but then they made like like the Hobbit, which was like another segment of this whole story and it was all CGI and it was like it looked better quality, but it's still like I feel like it took away from it.
Speaker 2:It's missing that soul. It's missing that soul in the movie. Yeah, because it's too much technology, it's too quick, we can just put this here, put this green screen here, and then you know the computer. We don't even need any actors for this, we can just set it up. You know, I'm saying, and then it's just like bro, it's not feeling the same, it's not hitting the same bro. So yeah, it's a lot of that shit ai is insane dude.
Speaker 1:I was um using I was just playing around with some software because I was looking for like a. I was like I need to find a new like intro hook for my show and I went and found the UFC announcer's voice and I just like talked to my microphone and like yelled like he does and then just put it in his voice and it sounded just like him damn it sounded.
Speaker 1:Sounded just like him. Um, my favorite ai dubs are the ones on tiktok, where they they be taking like the spongebob characters and making them sing like those like fallout boy songs bro, and that's the thing with this shit that they just now giving us with this ai voice stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, imagine how long they've probably been doing stuff like this. That's why when I be telling folks like you know your favorite celebrity, they say you know, this person died a long time ago. Man, you great. I'm like it can be possible. They can still put out their music and have some lookalike roaming around and they just using some AI voice to record their music.
Speaker 1:Oh for sure, dude. I was watching a little clip of a podcast. You know who Jim Brewer is.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:I believe he's in Half Baked but he's a really good comedian. Him and Roseanne were talking about Chappelle.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, roseanne, be on that shit.
Speaker 1:Oh, roseanne's down in the rabbit hole bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she is the fucking rabbit. You get down in the hole and there's fucking Roseanne there with a carry like what's up, let's talk. I'm like, yeah, you who I've been wanting to see.
Speaker 1:I like Roseanne he's this guy dude.
Speaker 2:Jim Brewer's this guy from Half Baked oh yeah, I figured that's who you're talking about, because I know Half Baked, but I just don't know the name really good. Stand up too and he's like that on stage, like isn't his stand-up kind of like the character half baked a little bit?
Speaker 1:it's very much dude it's yeah, yeah it's similar to it, like almost a jim carrey, but like he'd be talking about like very serious stuff and then just like doing like childish sound effects.
Speaker 1:And like yeah it's really funny but he was talking about with this clip of Roseanne. He's talking about how he was at a comedy festival and Dave came up to him and was like they visited me. And then he says like right before he left for Africa and all that shit. And then it's like when he came back like I before he left for africa and all that shit.
Speaker 2:and then it's like when he came back like I swear to god, it's not him yeah, I'm glad somebody I I ain't gonna, you know, I mean I've been, you know, I mean, like I'll be saying I'll be saying stuff like that. You know, I don't, you know, but people just look at me crazy, you know what I'm saying. Like because people ask me I be like I like, they be like you like. I be like I like Skinny Chappelle. That's what I always say. I like Skinny Chappelle, bro, I love Skinny Chappelle. Like this Sw, like this swole chappelle I mean, he'd be kind of funny, but I like skinny chappelle just like. I like backpack yate, like this new yay, I don't, I don't be yaying with him, you know what I'm saying. Like I like polo yay, you know what I'm saying. But uh, yeah, I like skinny chappelle. That's one of my favorites. You know what I mean one of my favorites I think, uh, the the thing is, you everybody's.
Speaker 1:There's that other documentary that came out in 2020. It was on Netflix.
Speaker 2:So where you see, where you see what he said that in the interview, oh dude.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let me see if I can.
Speaker 2:I want to see that clip. That ain't pulled up on my algorithm. I wonder why that ain't popped up on my algorithm. They know I like that type of shit.
Speaker 1:Let me see if I can uh, uh get on.
Speaker 2:I like that type of shit. You think they gonna take tiktok away?
Speaker 1:uh, dude, I was just reading the article uh about it yesterday, or like a post or a couple, like news things, and from what it sounds like I think they're going to do it because the company, the ByteDance who owns TikTok, is like, yeah, america is only a small part of our whole business and we don't want to sell it. And it's like damn. Let's see if I can pull this up. Can you hear that on my screen? Can you hear this? Were you able to hear anything?
Speaker 2:I don't hear shit. I don't hear nothing. But I be telling people, bro, I like skinny chapel though videos.
Speaker 1:Maybe I'll I'll put, maybe I'll try, maybe I'll put, maybe I'll try, maybe I'll put it in, so he said it. He said it to Roseanne yeah, it's like Roseanne and there's there's one other person on there they were talking to he said I swear that's not him.
Speaker 2:That's real shit, though, cause I ain't never met him and I felt like, bro, there's something about him, don't see him, I don't know. I mean.
Speaker 3:I'm.
Speaker 1:Okay, here I'll play you that.
Speaker 3:I probably think you got a little.
Speaker 2:Let me hear this yeah, what happened between you two? Did you fall out?
Speaker 3:Or did you just go different ways? No, we, I think, different ways. But I'll put something out there that I don't know if he, when we were filming, have, but we were filming a movie and he also had a lot of pressure from HBO or not. Hbo, comedy Central, comedy Central the worst bunch of people on Earth Damn.
Speaker 3:While he was on the show, when it was blowing up and we were at the Aspen Comedy Festival. It was fun, I did that too. He came there and he was freaked out. I said what's going on? And all I could say is he was visited. That's what I think too.
Speaker 3:And when he told me who visited him, my heart stopped for a second. I'm like get the fuck out and I'll never forget he went me who visited him. My heart stopped for a second. I'm like get the fuck and I'll never forget he went. You believe me right.
Speaker 3:You believe me, jim, right and I could he's like they came to me and he said the names. I'm like get the fuck. And what happened? And then all of a sudden he went to Africa yeah, that's what I remember happening. But they never really said what happened. Were you threatened? I mean, I don't know how much you I don't have, you can't. I guess none of my business, but I know for a fact he was corrected. He said Correct, yeah, he was hey by. Correct, yeah, he was hey by. Back.
Speaker 3:It was a lot less communication and maybe he just grows, whatever, but I can honestly say maybe I'm crazy, and I am crazy for saying this. When I saw him completely come back, I really questioned if that this. When I saw him completely come back, I really questioned if that was him. Yeah, I know right, and I know that's really crazy. I think those same things yeah, I know that's crazy yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like, but the thing is that Netflix documentary called the and that's a dude that know him, worked with him on the movie, like know him, know him, like you can't even sit here and and for me and other people to kind of be feeling that way and people like oh y'all crazy, this dude really knew that dude, he really knew Chappelle. And I'm like nah broall crazy. This dude really knew that dude, he really knew Chappelle. And I'm like nah bro, something ain't right with that. But hey, it may be him. Maybe he grew up and grew and evolved, yeah.
Speaker 1:Or maybe yeah, dude, that's what I was going to say. Like you know, you and me we come across information like like that, maybe because how, how we are who, especially as comedians, you just like I'm just always seeing shit out of the world and I'm like this is, this, is all you can do is make jokes about it um, but uh you just like.
Speaker 1:Everyone's algorithm is different. So people who aren't like some people's TikToks is just cooking videos and like and like crafts, arts and crafts, like homemade arts and crafts and that's all they see. They don't see like I see shit. I did a rift one time on stage and I was talking about how, on TikTok, I'll see a string of videos and be like the end of times are coming. I might as well give myself to God now, before it's too late. And in the very next video, it's like Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, or a Jewish siyat created to distract you. I was like maybe I don't know, it just keeps getting deeper. You come across all this stuff. I feel like TikTok is where I get the best information from.
Speaker 2:Me too. That's why I hate it. It's going to be gone because that's the only place I can go get some left shit, some woke shit, some conspiracy shit or whatever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to take breaks from it. Dude, I'll be miserable after I scroll for an hour on TikTok. I was blocking out what I had just watched, what I had just watched TikTok man.
Speaker 2:you scared to eat mustard. You'd be like shit bro. I just seen a TikTok about this man. You know it got fluoride.
Speaker 1:You got to use that as a bit bro. That's funny, that's a bit. Got me afraid to eat mustard bro.
Speaker 2:That's real shit. Though I see the TikTok about mustard, I mustard. I'm like damn, can't even fucking eat a hot dog, can't enjoy a hot link, bro, but it that's where I'll be going to get, like the woke conspiracy left shit. Yeah, I mean tiktok. You can't really go to youtube. Youtube done got so commercial like you can't talk about shit everything.
Speaker 1:Everything's commercial, even TikTok's commercial. Every third TikTok I see now is like a TikTok shop. I got approved to do it, where I could be making TikToks to sell stuff. I'm not really interested in that. Tiktok's weird where you get censored on certain words or you can't show a gun or like anything like that. But the crazy upside to it is like all this other shit that you can come across on there that you won't see on Instagram, you won't see on Facebook.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It might be on YouTube, but you're not ever going to find it because they will not let that get pushed to the top.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:No, but TikTok. The craziest thing about TikTok is one it's algorithm-based on you. It shows every video is a good video for the most part.
Speaker 2:It's something you're going to like, huh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then the other thing is like the searchability of it. It's like you can find like videos, that's like that you thought was gone well, or you just like. You're like man. I don't even know what to call this video, because there's like some dude dance, you know doing this and this like how do you? There there's no title.
Speaker 2:You don't know how to search it, but you can just type in some bullshit and you fucking around.
Speaker 1:So it's really good for that. So it's definitely it's like I don't TikToks, I think it's. It's really commercialized, though, in this sense of when I was on it, maybe a year ago or so, uh, I had like a couple of clips that like blew up. I had one that almost hit a million and I would get like decent viewership on my clips. And then, uh, like in the last year, I started really like pushing out my content with like a strategy like at least like two to three videos a day or like a like a month, two months straight, and just like man, I'd be lucky to get a thousand views and uh, I think at the beginning of tick tock they was giving everybody a lot of views.
Speaker 1:That's what you did, that beginning stage yeah, I had a friend who, uh he, he randomly made like some like uh, made like some like uh, what is it when you uh, you duet a video? And he uh did that and then got like, got like millions of views on it and he was like I'm gonna learn about tiktok. And he like, like a month later he grew like a hundred to a hundred thousand people when he was doing lives. So it was so funny walking in it's like his apartment and watching him like, watching him do like some gay little dance in front of the ring, light it up, be like. I was like, is this, what is this? What?
Speaker 2:this is what we're all becoming, bro you see the that, that that black guy that be doing the Spider-Man on TikTok, that that black guy that be doing the spider-man on tic-tac, uh-uh, he like he's acting like thanks for the rose, thanks for the rose, I gotta. It's like. He does all these gestures and people like it's what do they call it? I guess they're pretending they're like ai or some. You remember when that was like a thing on tic-iktok, bro. That was like a way this dude was like basically pretending like he's spider-man and whatever they tip him with. He got some like gesture for it and he got to keep doing it and he'll be posted up somewhere I know what you're talking about when people be online doing that yeah, he'll be posted up at the gas station somewhere and like people just be fucking with him, like calling him whack and shit.
Speaker 2:Then he'll be posted up at the gas station somewhere and like people just be fucking with him, like calling him whack and shit. Then he'll be doing his thing and all of a sudden he'll break character, be like fuck you man, say that shit to my face, come over here, come over here. Then. Oh, thanks for the rose, thanks for the rose. Bitch, ass, motherfucker, I whoop your ass. I'm like bro.
Speaker 1:We're all sensitive, bro. Part of when you're getting enough attention on you, like stuff that I've posted or things that have been the most viral, a lot of mean comments come with those too. I'm like damn bro.
Speaker 2:Bro, I ain't never had a viral video. You got like several of them like how, like, what do you do to get a viral video? You don't involve tiktok instagram.
Speaker 1:I think one one one is good, like a good content piece, for sure, um, it's got to be quality and then, um, also the quality of uh the video, I think matters. It's not everything, but it's still like for stand-up, those high def videos that are like if you can have multiple camera angles, which is like what I'm trying to bring out to dallas next week for our shows uh, we have multiple camera angles. Like you're telling a joke and it pans here and you can see like the crowd laughing and then like it zooms in on you and zooms in because thing with like that I learned, I like went deep into uh learning all this stuff and it was because, like I same with doing a podcast, but I just wanted to do comedy. But I'm like, okay, I gotta do this other shit too, to to uh you know, stay, stay ahead of the game or even be in the game a lot of time.
Speaker 1:But uh, the the formula on all these videos, like your first three seconds has to have a hook. It's gotta like, it's gotta get somebody so like you do that by putting a caption up there like what do you guys think about this? Or asking a question or something, so someone like will stand, because all those things want to see is that your video, like how much viewership is, like how long is your video on average being viewed, and so, like a lot of people have success with doing like a six second video just because it's like looping multiple times. Then if you can have a bunch of comments in the video, then everyone's sitting there trying to comment and fight in the comment section, but while that's happening, the video is going like this and that's that's it, that.
Speaker 1:So that's really important versus um, there's also like doing like Tik TOK. Also, I was like you can do like 10 minute videos on Tik TOK too. Some people have blown up off that. The crazy thing is there's no answer. There's no answer. There's no correct answers.
Speaker 2:All these like subtleties and like you can look for like and then, like, I'll be posting my shit.
Speaker 1:I'll be feeling like you don't get nothing, but it's probably the quality, uh, like, you're just like a lot of time from the side. It's not even zoomed in, it's a little grainy, um so, like if you're thinking about someone else, like if you're thinking of yourself scrolling. Would you stop on that video or would you stop?
Speaker 2:I'm going to watch that video maybe if you're somebody else scrolling, would you stop on that video?
Speaker 1:probably not yeah, it's got like.
Speaker 2:So what you said? I gotta get like a high depth camera. I thought you, you know, I got iphone 14. What the fuck ain't that with everybody?
Speaker 1:well then, like uh, depends what kind of content you're posting to like for stand-up clips in particular, like those are better with um, you know a real camera and yeah, I mean iphones are really nice cameras, but it's not like you can be at the club like putting the camera up, um, versus like that camera that I sent you, that I have like dude, the lens on it alone is like this big, like it can, and then like when I go into edit I can zoom in and it's not even gonna lose like its quality on the zoom because it's like so nice and like if you got a film from the back of a comedy club, uh, you know you need it to still be sharp and also pick up like like there's another tool that I that I got that comes with that specific camera that you can plug in like the microphone sound system that the club is using to it, so the audio that's coming out of the camera is coming from the microphone on stage, even if it's like you know, 300 feet back, you can still have that audio going.
Speaker 1:And then you just so for stand up, yeah, and then like captions are important, and even even if it's a great clip, like it still might not work. The other thing is post it again, like just try posting it again. And like, dude, I had a video that did 2 million views and I posted it again. They got like 2000 views and I have, but I think I posted that same joke. It was a higher quality video too. I posted that same joke. It was a higher quality video too. I posted that same joke like earlier on, when I started comedy, when I was at wise guys, and it was a really good clip, like as far as quality goes, uh and sound, but it got like like 10,000 views. And then I did it again at a different show. I wouldn't say the camera angle was even as good or the camera was as good, but it got like over 2 million views, I don't know. So sometimes reposting it and that works too.
Speaker 1:And then you just maybe make some edits and then putting like a nice thumbnail on it too, like if someone sees one video of you and goes to your page and sees all these videos that look like something they would want to click on.
Speaker 1:So you kind of just look at what's working for other people and emulate them, put your own twist on it. I'm also a nerd with stuff, so I like getting in the lab and editing stuff up and playing around. Not a lot of people want to do that, so you either have to do it yourself or you have to pay somebody to do it. Um, and like people that I feel like that's the thing, like people at the top of the comedy game that have been there for a long time. Their advice on what to do in comedy I just don't feel like is really good advice for somebody trying to come up. Like maybe there's other parts, maybe about the business or, you know, being a good comedian, but as far as like social medias and stuff, like there's comedians that don't even have to make a post and they'll just create a profile and they have a million followers.
Speaker 1:Because they created a profile profile because of their brand that already exists so, and then those people can easily have a management team, handle all that you know, production and everything for them, so they can just focus on being a comedian and everything's booked. You know, we got at where we're at. We're pretty much in charge of our own bookings, our own schedules, writing consistently and having new stuff, so making sure that we're going places too, and that's the other thing I think the hardest part as the comedian is. I think I realized early on what environment I need to be in for like comedy to do. Well, like people can't be on their phones. It needs people need to pay it some sort of price to get in, because if they don't, they're not going to appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Um, and then the way the building is set up, the lighting is set up, I mean it's all. It's all very much like a, an art and a science that goes into it, and like a, an art and a science that goes into it. Um, and so my point is is getting like the like stage time, I think, and maybe in the very beginning, if you're not comfortable speaking in front of people, sure, hit as many mics as you need to. But then, like it can almost hurt you, going to a shitty mic because you'll have a, I'll drop this new joke that, like I thought was funny, all the people that I tried to slip it into a conversation with laughed at it. And I went to this open mic and it was just like nobody laughed. Also, were they even paying attention Because it wasn't about, it wasn't just some stupid like cum joke or something. Nobody laughed. It's not really. It's not really. It doesn't translate. And then and then, and then I've been having?
Speaker 2:what have you ever had where jokes hit an open mic and then you go to a show and, yeah, people just at the show not connecting with the joke?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean, yeah, it works the same way around. Like, uh, you, you, it's just like. It's just like basketball, bro, like playing. Playing at a 24-hour fitness is not the same as playing a game where you have done a scouting report and you've played these guys before. You know what I mean. You can't really compare the two. There's certain similarities. That move kills. At 24-hour fitness it doesn't kill. Your coach would bench you the rest of the game. If you try to do that in a game, uh, and then like performing at a comedy club is it's just like. And so my point is is when you're trying to work on new stuff which you, you have to continuously try new stuff, and if it doesn't work, that's fine. But I want, like, the best feedback I can get. If it doesn't work here, then it's not good.
Speaker 1:Then I at least I gave it. I gave it its best shot in front of a, a crowd that paid money to be there and it's quiet. And if it didn't work, then that's, that's on me. I'm like it's something, something I do, but I think it's 50-50.
Speaker 1:And then the crowds are crowds, but you just find you need a place that you can consistently go to to try new stuff in front of those kinds of crowds, and only limited people have access to that. Like, if you are already a big name, if you're a Theo Vaughn or Trevor Wallace, you can be at the Hollywood when you're not traveling Friday through Sunday or Thursday through Sunday, touring Monday through Wednesday, you can be at the Laugh Factory, you can be at a comedy store. These places that on weekdays you can practice your new stuff. And I think that's the most frustrating part. I think where I'm at with comedy is I don't have a place that I can consistently go to on like a weekly basis to try out new stuff, because I always have new stuff and then when I do get that chance, like um, you know you only got three minutes or or five minutes and it's like, had I got like 15 new minutes of stuff, maybe only one minute of it's good, but I got to figure out which minute it is.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I need to, I need to cycle through that. And there's yet. And then also the pay discrepancies. Like man, you can, you if you're just hosting bro, man, it's like man. It's like it costs you more money to get to get to them. Motherfuckers, uh, feature money is like yeah, you might break even, uh, but yeah, like, and in the headliner I mean, and that's headliners, one who puts the people in the seats, like that's why they're the headliner, and but they're, they're getting headliner pay. They're getting merch sales. And if you're like the top levels, bro, you're getting. You probably got a podcast that's booming. You probably got patreon that's getting monthly, they're getting merch sales. And if you're at the top levels, bro, you're getting. You probably got a podcast that's booming. You probably got Patreon that's getting monthly subscription. You're getting booked at all the biggest clubs that are paying you a shit ton of money. But if you're not at that, you're doing things like betting on sports or working some day that's taken away for do you? Do you have a? Do you have a day job that you?
Speaker 2:do man? I do, yeah, what do you? And I'm tired of them like a forklift operator oh, forklift certified bro yeah, boy man, my back aching right now thinking about it.
Speaker 1:So as soon as you said something about work, I just yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, it's uh, but that dude that takes away from your energy, um, I, I, if I have to do that kind of work outside of uh comedy, I prefer to do. I've done a lot of sales and like stuff you know, remote type of stuff. Doing a doing a labor type of work is. I still feel like I have energy to do creative work. But like if I'm sitting like talking on the phone all day doing sales, so by the end of the day my brain's toast don't, I don't want to think about anything. That makes it harder as well.
Speaker 2:So you're saying doing sales, you couldn't do comedy doing sales.
Speaker 1:I did comedy doing sales. When I started comedy I was doing grocery delivery. I was doing decent money for what it was it was, and then I I could just like stop whenever I needed to and then just like go to the, go to an open mic, and then, you know, I could write in the morning before I started work, or I could write after, after the open mic or something, but uh yeah, and then I don't know, it's just comedy. It's so funny to me when people will come up to you after shows and be like I was going to be a comedian. I'm like you make, like you make, so you tell me life's not going good. Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 2:like.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you're, if you just see what you see at the very top. I want to be that. It's like yeah, you do.
Speaker 1:It's like what I I'm, I'm going for it. Uh, there's, there's a lot of this stuff that you won't see. That's uh miserable, miserable, yeah, work and uh, you know, sometimes you have to let, you have to let it slide when people talk to you a certain way, because if you don't, then you know you might not be able to get. You know this place and you're like I gotta put up with politics on stuff. It's like I've really never been good at but I've definitely, I've definitely like damaged relationships with people. That book shows just because I, you know, not even intentionally, like I'm gonna just like say some stupid shit or they do some stupid shit and I'm gonna, I'm gonna let you know that that was some stupid shit and uh, you know, that's, that's part of it. Hate, hate that because uh, yeah, when you're not a big name once, once you're a big name, that gets you booked like clubs don't care.
Speaker 1:They don't even care if you can do standup comedy. They're like if you can sell this place out, you're a headline.
Speaker 2:They had no integrity for the art.
Speaker 1:No, and uh like I think, yeah, people who come up in standup, uh, come up in stand-up, uh, don't like that. But I'm like that is the game, that is how that goes. So if you can blend both, then you can, uh, you can, you can make something happen. But if, if, and and, then once you're at that level too, like the clubs will bend over backwards for you, just, oh yeah, right away, we'll get to for you right away, right away yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 1:I don't want him as my opener, like the guy that's been booked by the club for months, like now I'm bringing my own. Uh, tell that guy to eat shit. Yeah, so, uh, yeah he said to eat shit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so bad right yeah, uh.
Speaker 1:So it sucks when you don't have that pull and you pretty much have to get to, you have to do all these other things just to get your five to 10 minutes on stage, just so you can, you know, get get better at what you're doing and maybe make a couple of new fans and followers. Maybe make a couple of new fans and followers. So, yeah, the hardest, the hardest part is not to come. The comedy is the easiest part of this for me personally, like being on stage and going up to him for an hour, like yeah, that's fine, it's all the other stuff. It's, uh, emotionally and physically taxing. And then, uh, my advice is to get a girlfriend who works full time. Yeah, do you have a girlfriend?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:No, I started dating this girl last year and she's been super helpful. I got my car repossessed. It's like second year in comedy. I got my car repossessed. It's like second year in comedy got my car repo that I can't get to shows. Yeah, so she damn she would. She would take me to a lot of my shows and then she just lets me use her car a lot of time how did car get repo?
Speaker 2:uh, well, it's. These are lab. Well, I started comedy.
Speaker 1:I was doing grocery delivery and I'd probably make like I can make like a thousand, like 1500 a week doing that, and then do it out of nowhere. They just were like my app, like froze, when I was in the middle of shopping and they were like I called them and they're like, oh yeah, you've been terminated. And I was like what, can you tell me why? And they're like nope, no explanation.
Speaker 1:And then they just what I was like damn well, my rent was due in like two days, so I guess I gotta figure something else out. And then they said no explanation yeah, bro, I just hung up, click and then and so they said no explanation. Yeah, bro, I just hung up.
Speaker 2:Click and then uh and uh. So I would have filed for unemployment. You didn't get unemployment.
Speaker 1:No, I went, I got back into doing insurance sales that's what I used to do and, uh, but doing it remotely. And then I was doing that and I was making. I started making decent money, but it took like two months to actually like see a check because you got to go through all this, uh, had to go re-go through all this like training and licensing that they make you go through. And then, even when you do start making sales, you don't see the check till like a couple weeks later. But like I need my money right now. And so you know, I got evicted from my apartment and I had moved to a new place. So I'm just trying to get everything back together. And then I opened up a bank account and that's how they found my car, because I was like working, just closed a big sale and was like, alright, I'm going to go to the store and get some food. And when I was outside my car was gone. I was like fuck.
Speaker 2:Damn.
Speaker 1:Dude and went outside. My car was gone. I was like fuck, damn, yes, and I dude. I was like I just got booked for like a weekend, uh, at House of Comedy out here in Phoenix, like first time I got booked out there and was like don't have a car, so now I'm gonna maybe break even or actually still have to spend more money than I'm going to get from working this weekend just to get just for transportation, you know.
Speaker 2:The game.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I mean, it is what it is Like. I was like, yeah, you got me, I was going to pay it, but I just didn't have the money at that time. So I was a couple of months behind and then they came and took it. The crazy thing is, didn't they send you a letter?
Speaker 2:For a couple months. Yeah, just two months.
Speaker 1:They send you a letter. They send you a letter after they repo it and everything and they're like, yeah, so you owe us the rest of the money for this car. I was like, if I already wasn't making payments, why do you think I'm just going to?
Speaker 2:I'm making payments.
Speaker 1:And now that you took it. Because you sent me a letter and say I owe you 15 grand. You think I'm like I'm just going to give you 15 grand. That's a bold assumption man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we lost that, but yeah, so she's just been a big, big help because I had that. Now I sleep on an air mattress for a minute and then the last roommate I had, dude, it turns out he's a felon not for the good reasons, like for little kids and shit, damn yeah, I moved out of there ASAP. And then I sleep on the couch for like like six, seven months and then my girlfriend I started living together so I sleep on a bed, I have a transportation places and she, she's, she's coming to the shows in Dallas. She helps with she's gonna. She helps with, like, if I can't afford my way out there. She's helped with me getting to Philly and Dallas. She's been a huge help for that Huge help.
Speaker 1:But yeah, that's the other thing. You get booked out of town. How are you going to get there? Are they going to pay for you? If you're not the headliner, are they going to pay for you?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Where else have you performed? I feel like I'd like to see you get out Definitely Phoenix, great venues out here but I want to see you outperform in other places. You basically run Dallas. That's from what it looks like.
Speaker 2:Man, I other places. You basically run Dallas that's from what it looks like and I've been to Atlanta I did laughing skull festival been to Sacramento, been to indiana, been to kansas you did, uh, you did world series of comedy, did you?
Speaker 1:uh? Did you go to the vegas one too? Because you, you won one of the, you won one of the um satellites yeah, I won one of the, but no, I didn't go to vegas you didn't go to vegas, was it was it? Was it because you, uh, you didn't have the money to make it out there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was just looking like this is costing me more Because, bro, when I won in one city, he was trying to get me to go somewhere else. I was like, bro, are you going to pay for me to go out there? He wanted me to go to Florida or something they was doing. I'm like, bro, it was hell for me to come to Indiana, bro. Like it was hell for me to come to Indiana. Like you want me to just like fly to Florida, bro. Like y'all the ones I started looking at it, like y'all the ones making all the money, you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean Y'all making the money and you using us as entertainment in these cities. Bro, on the cool, yeah, there's, uh, yeah, that's the thing comedy festivals. You don't get some of them, like the one I did in slow this year. They actually paid for my hotel and like we got like two meals a day, so like those expenses were at least covered, which is more than what you can say for a lot of other things. But festivals are important, but they also it's whole.
Speaker 1:You look at it as an investment, like yeah sometimes you don't have money to invest like I I got. I was stoked when I was doing the world series of comedy thing. I was like, oh, I'm gonna do this and get to all these places, and then I actually got into one of the satellites and then it's like I can't afford to go there.
Speaker 1:There's no way yeah they told me like two weeks before I was like like, yeah, how am I going to come up with? Because when you got to book a last minute flight, and then here's the other thing with that you don't know, because the way they set it up, if you don't get guaranteed spot on, like what, the Thursday or Friday segment, you could go there on a Wednesday. Do one five minute set and be out of it and then what? Am I supposed to book a flight then?
Speaker 1:or should I stay till Sunday and be in a hotel that I'm paying daily for and food and transportation, and I'm not even getting those things right, uh, you could, I guess, go find other gigs out there while you're there, which is what I always try and do whenever I'm in a new city. But yeah, still, it's like it just doesn't seem and I, with comedy contests, I never win comedy contests. It's always it's always the same type of people that win comedy contests. When it's like it's always like the the safe, the safe person usually wins the comedy contest the safe person the safe.
Speaker 1:I've won. I've won them before, but uh, but like in most cases, like especially in phoenix, same people win this, the same contest and they win them in other cities too, so I know that it's not just here that they do it yeah they, they just they're like. I feel like when clubs put on comedy contests, they're really just looking for a host that they can fucking abuse the shit out yeah be like can you make it here in 30 minutes? Why not?
Speaker 1:get your ass here pretty much and then if, if you let them treat you like that, then yeah, that's that's what I feel like I've noticed with people with hosting. They get stuck as a host because the clubs would be like you're a really good host. I've been hosting here for 10 years, bro. It's weird how the business works. There's a club here in Tucson there's a really dude, one of the best comedy clubs. It's my favorite that I perform at when I get to do it. It's one of those clubs that has there's nothing to do in Tucson Arizona. There is, but not a lot. But it's just a comedy club that's got that brand. It doesn't matter who the headliner is. They sell out almost every weekend. It's an amazing environment.
Speaker 1:The guy who got me in with that club was like if you can give me a ride when I had a car, if you can give me a ride I'll get you some guest spots. So he got me some guest spots and then that led to me getting booked there for future work. But he'd been he's been like hosting at that club for like 10 years and he's he's got a special out now and he's like he headlines other like way bigger comedy clubs. But the guy who books that club, like will only book him as a host and then and fast forward another weekend I'm booked there to host. Uh, another comedian hits me up. Hey man, how do you get booked there? Blah, blah, and I was like I'll see if I can get you a guest spot. He and then the feature dropped out and the the guy put him at feature and he crushed and then like he from from day one he's a feature when he goes in that club versus you know, that's the other people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just it's weird how that happens too.
Speaker 1:It's almost how you pitch yourself. You shouldn't pitch as a feature headliner until you're ready, but you almost don't work. A lot of clubs don't work your way up. Whatever you start at at that club is what they see you as for the rest of the time being, in most cases I think you have, you have a. I think dallas seems like a. Really it's like a nicer version of phoenix, like the people are just nicer. I feel like it's a city where you can uh work your way at your home club up to a headliner, versus like, uh, cause I mean, that's what you're doing next weekend. Uh, but like a lot of the, a lot of a lot of clubs in Phoenix. Here it's like like my home club man they keep you in a box.
Speaker 1:They won't book. We got some really good comedians out here. They will not book them to headline for a weekend and it's another club that's like doesn't matter who the headliner is, they're gonna get their ticket sales because people they have a good following for the. For the business, yeah, you just you don't get booked if you live in that city. So whatever city you live in, most cases that's just where you get your practice cuts in. But when you start traveling you almost don't want to. You can't even afford to travel as a host. You can really only travel as maybe a feature or a headliner.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe a feature Maybe.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got booked as a feature at this club in El Paso. Have you ever done a comic strip in El Paso?
Speaker 2:Mm-mm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this was like by a stroke of luck. I took a class on how to get booked for comedy. A lot of useful information in there, like on how to structure your website and reach out to bookers and all that kind of stuff, which again a lot of work dude, like sending out emails and trying to contact people, and it was just a stroke of luck. The dude was actually like fucked up and forgot to book for this weekend a headliner or a feature. I was just the first to respond to the email so I got booked as the feature out there and that one dude dude. That was weird. And that was weird dude because I I feel like I had good sets and I actually still talked to a lot of people that came to those shows that like, followed me and we talked on instagram sometimes and got like one of my sets got like four applause breaks.
Speaker 1:Ticket sales were pretty low because the dude forgot to put this thing on the calendar. So there was this like club that could seat 300, that had like maybe 20 people at every show there you know and uh, but like still did.
Speaker 1:And then the headliner was driving. I was driving home with him and he was like so the booker said that he apologized to me for for booking an opener as the feature this weekend. I was like the motherfucker said that I was like I thought I did good, I mean recorded the sets. It sounded like it went pretty well. And then he said I wasn't a feature. I was like that's weird. That's another element. Did you not like the comedy? Was it? Was it me, was. So you're also dealing with that. I guess I like I like comedy to be like I can't. Williams started on the the shannon sharp one, I think, where he's like he just went and listened to everyone's sets and how much laughter they were getting yeah that's how he, that's how he would check off.
Speaker 1:He was better than them. I like that metric the best because I feel like a lot of times I get, you know, I get my style I can tell a joke and then just pause for a while and just get a lot of laughs and I'm not like a super, like upbeat personality, like what I think they want to see or something, or like someone trying to please the crowd or play to them specifically. Uh, I, just I, but I'm like I got more laughs for sure than the people that they put in first, second and third place. You just, you know, I would like it to go off that metric more than a personal bias, because there's comedians that I'm like I got to leave the room when they're performing. I can't listen to it, but they're crushing If I was a booker, I would book that.
Speaker 1:If you have people that follow you and you crush, then I would book you, even if I don't like your comedy Shit. I don't even like my own comedy most of the time, so, like I don't even watch a lot of stand-up, I watch it to learn, but I don't watch it a whole lot, so it's got to be you don't really watch it that much either. It's funny too, like how it's so subjective it is because there's a comedian that I'll see. Did you ever watch Kill Tony?
Speaker 2:What that show Like where they be roasting, or they go up there and do like a minute.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, the one that's in Austin.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you know who KC Rocket is?
Speaker 2:Mm-mm.
Speaker 1:He had this crazy set man. I was like his act was so unique and I was like that might be one of the best things I've ever seen. But then you go look at the comments and half the comments are like this guy fucking sucks. This isn't comedy and I'm like but that's how you know it's good is, if a lot of people are commenting that, because obviously you're saying something for a reason, why would you say that Bro, that audience, that audience is weird to me.
Speaker 2:That Kill Tony Kill Tony Austin audience Like I don't't know. This is something about the some, about some of the black comedians that they be pushing, like paterson I don't know their names, but it was one dude it just seemed like you either doing some buffoonery, coonery, or you, or you one of them, ones that's like saying something so against black people. That's like, damn, it's like it's either you saying something so against black people, that it's like why is this black dude saying that? Or you just up there making us look like some buffoons and I'm like why it seem like that's what they be like.
Speaker 1:You just can't be black and just be funny and just and get some it's the same with you, know music, uh, music, movies and just tv. Like you know, like, growing up, how I grew up, you know I just knew all the like old, like 80s, like white people, white people music, good music, but like that's, that's what. And then, like my black friend, that would what your dad listened to whenever he said r&b, bro, like, but I would have never, I would not know any of those bands, just, and it's the same with comedy. Like you like jim brewer, like I've watched a ton of his stuff. It's probably never even come in your feed. The only reason you know about him is because he was in that movie with Chappelle. But other than that, I've never heard of him.
Speaker 1:And it's the same with a black comedian that will be coming in town or a Hispanic comedian. They'll be like you've never heard of this guy. I'm like no. No, I don't know who that is, you know, he, and he could have a million followers and I've never heard of him. Everybody's yeah, so Kill Tony's definitely predicated towards like the Joe Rogan audience of people for sure, and then they just like yeah, just like, yeah, just like.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they want their black people to be extra black don't just like. It's like that with being with a bunch of black people too. They love it when I be extra white. They want to hype me up when I'm dancing, they want to. They're they like to see the stereotype come to fruition, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Because that's what they think they're supposed to see. Yeah, I'm like when I see someone like what are you talking about? Just super black, like an idiot type of thing, like what maybe somebody who doesn't really hang around with black people would would expect and just do exactly that.
Speaker 2:I don't know what he's saying, but it's funny yeah, like, that's the type of shit I'm like, bro, let me up there. Yeah, you know, we love that kool-aid man, I'm, I'm about to put Kool-Aid, just say some shit like that. I'm like, bro, why y'all acting like this funny? This is not funny. And when this boy get in a real situation he going to realize he's not funny. But those white people were laughing at me in Austin. No, they was laughing at your ass. They wasn't laughing with your ass.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the same, like the white guy who his whole audience is black, is Gary Owens. Oh yeah, that's just his people, that's his audience. That's why he's not famous or as famous. I had no idea of Gary Every like when I first started, when I would do black rooms or shows with an all-black lineup and then me they'd be like bro, you like Gary Owens, who the fuck is Gary Owens? I?
Speaker 2:don't know who that is. They're like bro, how you not know who Gary Owens is.
Speaker 1:Dude, my favorite open mic that I would consistently go to here was a black room, because if it was bad, they're gonna let you know right away that it's bad if it was good. Black rooms are funny because when you tell a good joke, they laugh and start talking to each other. I'm used to being, like all right, laughed in, like, in, like. I'm going to talk more, but like no, I got to let them get this out before I can go on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It definitely taught me like to like just slow down. I don't have to speak through this. Some people are like so nervous with their not talking and I'm like you're ruining all the laughs because you're not letting anybody listen to you, so that that, yeah.
Speaker 2:Really they'd be ruining the joke, like they're supposed to just laugh, but like you say, they gotta laugh. And then, girl, yeah, I went to applebee's last week with peace and yeah, you remember we did that and then go back to you like what the fuck, like how y'all gonna have all this talk in between the laugh and like trying to tell you I got it right, bro, and I'm only up.
Speaker 1:I'm up here for five minutes. Yeah, I did, dude. I have a clip. I was trying to post it but for whatever reason to fucking I couldn't. Something was, something was Maybe, I don't know, not important, but it was. I just told this joke and it got a bunch of laughs. And then I started to set up for the next joke and I said I set my setup. I was like, yeah, my gam-gam is super into astrology. And then you can just hear this black lady and she's sitting in the front and she's just ah, ah, ah, ah.
Speaker 1:And then you hear this little conversation happen and I had like another camera angle and it was like it zooms in on her and it's just her just talking just talking and then it was me just standing there, like I stopped everything, and I stood there and just like stared like that and everybody else in the audience saw it and was laughing. And then like she's like eating her food, and then like looks up at me, just looking at her like this, and get crushed yeah yeah, I was like I just didn't understand it at first. I was like yo shut the fuck up. Oh, that's just kind of how that I still be trying to understand it.
Speaker 2:I I'll be like, bro, what the fuck? It just throws your shit off. Yeah, and it's like dog, just laugh, eat your food. Laugh, eat your food, laugh.
Speaker 1:It does throw off the rhythm and timing. I did this show in Philadelphia and it was crushing, but this lady in the front just kept. Every single job had to stop gotta say something, full conversation, say something to me, that full conversation with, with her boyfriend, and then like all right, yeah so, and like throwing off all my timing and stuff but and ruins it for maybe some other people but yeah uh, but yeah, no, I liked, I liked doing that mic because it was like the best, it was one of the best, like, even though it was in a bar.
Speaker 1:I was getting like some of the best feedback on how I was doing. And they if you're not doing well brew, if you don't do well in the first 30 seconds, you might as well just put the microphone back up, because probably not probably lost their attention already you ain't gonna get them back they're talking just gets louder and louder, as it's like I feel like it's almost like they're doing it on purpose.
Speaker 1:Does he not get the hint that when he's not funny, get him on stage? So uh, yeah, you learn how to. I gotta come in hot and uh, be patient and uh, but, but I like, I like, but I like doing black rooms. I feel like the black culture energy. I feel like you guys can sense when someone's authentic versus not authentic. So when I'm just being myself, I'm not thinking about should I tell this joke to impress them because they're black or like they will read that right away.
Speaker 1:I know because I see people try and do that that have also been in the rooms like I've never done a room like this and they're like they're trying way too hard instead of just being themselves and that's why they don't do well. I think that's the thing. Don't do well, I think. I think I think that's the thing. You should work hard on comedy, but don't try so hard as far as like it's hard to tell someone to be their self, but I feel like that's the whole key to the whole comedy thing is like the confidence and you just being yourself and if it's funny it will work, but like trying to be.
Speaker 1:I think and I think that comes from what I see from people who have the qualities of being really good at stand-up um, is is a self-awareness of like I know I do this weird. That that's what makes people laugh, like I think. I think, like with you it's uh, it's just your subtleties a lot of time, just from the few times I've seen you, like the clip where you're just like, you're just like telling your joke and the dude the dude answered his phone.
Speaker 1:He answered his phone call during your set yeah you're just like I can't hear everything you're saying right now.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if you looked at you, just like right, I can hear everything you're saying right now I don't even know if you looked at it, you're just like, right, no, because that room's small, bro, and that was so cool that your homie man he was like he recorded my set and I was like, damn, I appreciate it oh yeah, no, that's that was um.
Speaker 1:He started getting more. We had a podcast together. This is what I'm starting. It's the first episode starting back, but that's. We had a whole studio and um he was doing. He was like at almost all my sets and I was just getting all this film, dude, taking it for granted. Um, but then he started getting. He started getting people not comedians necessarily, but just people paying him a lot of money to like produce their podcast or record other events, and so it's just I, you know, and yeah, I'll get that money yeah, you gotta go where the money's at, and I was like but yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 1:That's why I went and got some cameras. I just haven't, I haven't been getting myself filmed.
Speaker 2:I'm just reposting a lot of stuff from like a year ago at this point yeah, yeah, I posted a picture, a picture of me at the mass games, and I guess people thought I was at the the mass game, but uh, no, that was an old picture I do that all the time.
Speaker 1:I'll post something and be like bro you got a haircut. I mean, I did get one this time, um, but like, or to be like bro you've been. You've been lifting weights, bro. I was like that was, it was from 2017, yeah, that's why I always say like, yeah, repost old stuff because, like, save it somewhere and have it and post it again, because it's like with comedy clips, it's about hitting new followers, and even your current followers are still gonna be like, oh, yeah, I like that joke and they'll like it, so you don't be worried about posting your material.
Speaker 1:I think you have to post your material a lot of times, you know, because joke stealing is a thing and you know, you may get accused of it or you may see someone else rip your stuff off and you'd be like no, I got timestamps, bro, this was. I got receipts. This was posted at this time. So, yeah, because, uh, I find that it's weird. But like people will be like oh, I wish you would have done that joke tonight, like I've already done that joke in front of you. I didn't think you wanted, you wanted to hear it again. It's like no, it's just like why would you watch a special a second time? You know you're looking at it. Sometimes you gotta look at it from someone else's perspective, or or hear someone say something like that to you and be like, oh, that's what you're thinking this whole time. Oh, okay, I can do that. Like we write jokes that I'm like this is my favorite joke.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like does okay, and then you write a joke. I'm like you write a joke. She's like this is fucking dumb, but it'll probably work. And it's like do that joke again, bro. You're like I hate this joke so much, but okay.
Speaker 2:I love it too, man.
Speaker 1:It's the artist side. Yeah, you got to balance the artist in the business side with with with this because it is a business. So I I repost my stuff all the time and sometimes I'll edit the clip too. Like I'll cut out even more, like filler time or anything that doesn't have to do with a setup or the punchline I'll cut. I'll cut that out or I'll cut out like the joke might be a minute long but you'll only see 20 seconds of it. You'll see like one punchline. You won't see the full thing, which, like with your clip that I cut up for you, I was proud of that one. This is a good clip. That's a funny joke too.
Speaker 1:But you had a bunch of other stuff that led up to what you were saying as well, but that was probably the best punchline from it. And then you had a bunch of other stuff that led up to what you're saying as well, but that was probably the best punchline from it. And then you had stuff afterwards that you also talked about dealing with that. So, like they get, they get more, but it's, it's an art to like. I've I've seen someone post like a comedy clip and they didn't, they didn't get towards it. It made you want to see more of it. You're like, wow, why is it only 30 seconds? And it's like yeah, we'll be at the.
Speaker 1:We'll be at the improv this day, through this day.
Speaker 2:I guess I gotta buy a ticket, though yeah this part and then I'm like oh he's doing that part he's doing that part yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's almost like a when you're doing promo like that. It's like a trailer.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You just want to be like what does he say next? Or you have a really good joke that's like if he's got one of those, he's probably got more, and then you still throw that in, Because not everyone that's going to come to that show, those shows, is going to go because of that. It's one thing that could bring people in. And then their friend hasn't seen it and they bring their friend and then, their friend and they start talking to each other after you drop the punchline I hope we don't have none of that Friday shit.
Speaker 1:So you said the club got revamped. We'll wrap this up. We're almost at two hours. It's going to take a long time to edit, dude, but it's fine. Dallas Comedy Club they revamped it recently.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they revamped it, man, it's pretty dope. They put a, I guess, a traditional stage instead of that long ass stage they had. That was, I guess, that improv stage, so it's like a traditional stage.
Speaker 1:Uh, it made it elevated up, elevated up and shorter, like it's like yeah, yeah, put some different curtains up.
Speaker 2:I think they made it like longer or something. They just revamped it.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I see they're getting bigger names booked there. That it's like good for them. I remember I was there. I did that Dallas's funniest comedian contest, like at the end of last year, and I just did it as a excuse to do a show in Dallas before I went to Austin and then, uh, uh yeah, had a handful of people come out. It was, it was, it was an okay show, but it was like on a Sunday. Sunday are never, are never, ideal, just because yeah.
Speaker 1:Sunday, uh, but it's in a great area. I think I'm excited to see what they did. Did they add more seats too?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Added more seats. Yeah, I haven't seen it. I haven't performed there where it's actually a full crowd, so I'd be curious to see how that works, because I was doing it to mostly, mostly comedians in in the front row and then like maybe like 10 people yeah, hopefully we can pop it off.
Speaker 2:I made it.
Speaker 1:I made it to the second round, so I got two uh two appearances at dallas comedy clubs yeah I think I know. I know the bartender there too, do you know? Do you know I'm talking about? I think his name is mikey uh, yeah, I know, mike I told him. I told him that we're gonna be performing there and he's like oh, remind me bro. Yeah, I hung out with him. He's a funny, he's a really funny dude yeah, there's a lot of people.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of people that work in the comedy clubs like not, and not the big ones, but like the small comedy clubs that like never they don't get on stage enough because they're always working. They're working like yeah it's a week at the comedy club and yeah like, and then, and then. I feel like the comedy club sees them as a worker and not a comedian and so the comedian they.
Speaker 1:They have animosity towards the club now because they can't get stage time at the place that they're at every day and they've done all this work for them. That's what. That's why I never wanted to work at a comedy club. If I was going to work at a comedy club, it would have to be a big one where they don't really they don't really know your name, or like I've seen one guy, a couple people that come out of phoenix worked at like stand-up live and started like the kitchen or something and then like they were able to like get some guest spots and stand-up live is like where the biggest names come, I think. I think if they're not doing arena shows, that's where they would be at.
Speaker 1:You would get like a cap williams level eddie murphy, uh type of level comedian that would come through there and so, but that's what I've seen. But if it's like a b or c level comedy club and you want to do comedy, do not work at those comedy clubs, because I don't know what your idea was of getting a job there, but it's probably not going to be what you thought. So it's uh, it's, you know, I don't know to people, or people are uh, they have all these weird ambitions with comedy, but then I never see them perform anywhere, like trying to get on stage. There's another. There's so many different cases. Dude, I hate that you have the House of Comedy in Plano. When did you start doing comedy?
Speaker 2:Me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I feel like you've been at it for a minute.
Speaker 2:I know, I know I hear this man going on 10.
Speaker 1:I feel like you've been at it for a minute 9 years man going on 10, whatever that math is did you, I know, like with House of Comedy here did they give a lot of local comedians guest spots on weekend shows?
Speaker 2:bro, I never.
Speaker 1:They never gave me any weekend shows did they ever give you like a guest spot though to do like five minutes? Really they gave.
Speaker 2:They gave me like some random tuesday show. They let me headline and close out random tuesday show. But just recently she offered me to feed. She was like I might have a feature spot for you this this weekend, but I'm like I think that's the weekend of my, of my headlining show. Then it's like you got a mic in front of it, like what do you mean?
Speaker 1:you might yeah, well, again, you know, because they, you don't, they don't know if that person's going to bring a feature.
Speaker 2:But yeah, that's why I don't ever really take it personal.
Speaker 1:But you know yeah, you can't take it personally. That's a product of being in your hometown, because I know comedians from here who have just hit up the booker and they've gotten booked to like feature a weekend at house comedy and they're definitely not on the level that you're on. It's not. It's just that's a product of being where you're at. But the the one, the house of comedy here, uh, that that place gave me a lot of opportunities when I was especially in the beginning to uh like I could go to a guest spot on a weekend show and it'd be like a sold-out room. I'd go do five minutes, have like a good set in front of you know, a crowd, a crowd that's here, that that paid money to come see this guy, so I get a chance to. I'm borrowing their audience, basically. But they give a lot of local people. They used used to at least I don't think they do it as much anymore because management's changed there, but it was a good place to do that.
Speaker 1:The scenes change over time. You've been doing it 10 years, man. When I first got here I felt like I got a lot more stage time. Now that I've been here a little bit, it's like ah, we've already seen you, bro? Type of thing. That's why I always try and keep. I always try and write new stuff, because if I'm going to go to this club and perform again, yes, I could do the stuff that works, but I like to always try and do all my new stuff. That's why traveling is way easier. I'd go on the road and be like, unless you've seen it online, no one here has seen any of this stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Nobody here knows me For Dallas. When we the first night when we did hyenas, when Barbosa was on the show right after his set, like he was like trying to dip and all these people like left to like go take pictures and whatnot with him, I also crept out there and was like, just stood there, bro, I'm just a bunch of people called to me and follow me on Instagram and stuff. So they they said they'd be coming to the show. I don't know, did you did? Did we see on ticket sales how we're doing?
Speaker 2:I haven't hit them up.
Speaker 1:Clubs. Usually clubs have like a certain number of pre sale tickets where they know it's going to be good, because most people just end up buying it the day of for I mean, that's probably what I would do.
Speaker 2:I know that day they told me when I hit you up I was like hey, man, let's start. They basically was telling me they wasn't seeing that many sales around that time.
Speaker 1:so that's when I started trying to like push a little more or whatever well, yeah, well, it's like a, it's like a month, that was like a month before the show. So it's like most, most clubs aren't gonna have, uh, ticket sales unless it's a huge name. It's like Joe Rogan's coming, it sold out immediately, you know. But they're not going to see the ticket sales until like a week or two before the show, maybe the week of the show, and then they but if they usually have a number, that like did like, if we're at, if we're at, 30 pre-sale tickets, we'll be good. So really got to push those pre-sale tickets um, so we'll be in the dms this week posting yeah, and I'll be in the dms I'll see what I can come up with from this podcast episode.
Speaker 1:Dude, the technology on this stuff is crazy. Uh, I found this one thing like from like my podcast, uh yeah, I would.
Speaker 1:I would just, you know, put the youtube link in there and, uh, it would cut up all these clips for you, and then it would go even as far as to tell you why this is a good clip or why it's not a good clip. Um, and it would. It would tell you like this is a highly searched topic, this is blah blah, and they'd be like and this, you have a very good hook into this video and they would give you like a whole detailed explanation of and then I was and I would like it was helpful because I would just cut up clips.
Speaker 1:When I first started that, like I was like this, I like this clip, nothing. And then I would, I would post a clip they said would be good because we talked about this and this, and I put up and it did well. It's like huh, you know. So it's like there's, there's, there's a lot of these crazy tools, so we'll see what we can get from this and uh, and we'll post. We'll post during the week, but so this will be for the promo. Dallas Comedy Club, May 3rd.
Speaker 2:What's going on that night man? I am headlining that night man. Two shows Got 7.30, 9.30. Got my boy, adam J, featuring and I got my boy Arun Rama. He's hosting the show, so it's going to be. It's going to be we in Deep Ellum. You know Gotham City, so ain't no telling who may slide through.
Speaker 1:We got a Dallas legend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, Dallas legend man, that's what they call me. You know what I'm saying? Og, triple OG.
Speaker 1:I mean, I always see you doing definitely hyenas, but always doing shows where you're doing a lot of time at these shows. That's dope. Do you remember the second? So that's good for the promo. Good, um, did you? Did you see the? Uh, do you remember the second night when we did hyenas at the red room in fort worth? The second night, yeah yeah, yeah, I was, I was hosting oh yeah I was fucking faded dude and I've never done this in my life.
Speaker 1:I was fade, I would have. I would have slapped myself, but I was like. I was like, oh, they're doing an open mic after this. Yeah, fuck, it went up there after, uh, neil got off and I was like you guys just want to hear me do five minutes. They were like, yeah, the dude in the back was like flashing light, like get the fuck off the stage. And I just was like up there just telling new material. I was doing my open mic and I was like I told Micah about that. Do you know, micah? He worked at Hyenas Is Micah Brown.
Speaker 2:I think so yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he thought that was so funny. He was a manager there Like I didn't even know him. But then I've met him later. He was like dude. That's so funny yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, deep Ellum.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Deep Ellum. Have you been to Chiba Hut in Deep Ellum?
Speaker 2:Nope.
Speaker 1:Bro, we might have to go to Chiba Hut. I might have to take you to Chiba Hut dude Best. Bro, we might have to go to chiba. I might have to take you to chiba dude best, uh, best sandwich place. It started in arizona. They got one location in, uh, deep ellum dude, it's the best, all the, all the. You don't get like a foot long or six inch. It's uh, it's all weed, it's all, uh, it's all, it's all like weed names and shit. So you can get like Pinner the Blunt, the Joint for your sandwich length and then like all the names of the sandwiches are like weed strains and they're really good.
Speaker 2:Chiba.
Speaker 1:Best sandwich place dude, 10 out of 10.
Speaker 2:We're going to hit that mud.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I'll put a little closing piece in here later. But Dallas Comedy Club May 3rd, dez O'Neal headlining two shows one night only and I will be featuring and can't wait to see you guys out there and I'll put some stuff together and we'll push these ticket sales. So all right, bro Well.
Speaker 2:Peace out bro.
Speaker 1:Tension coming on and we'll see you in Dallas.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah.
Speaker 1:Peace out Light. Hey guys, just want to thank you for listening to this episode. Be sure to get the tickets, if you're in the Dallas area, to the shows at the Dallas Comedy Club to see Des O'Neill headlining and me, adam J, featuring. You can also follow Des O'Neill at D-E-Z-O-N-E-A-L comedy on Instagram and on TikTok, before they delete it. Also, if you haven't yet, please make sure that you subscribe to the podcast wherever you stream your podcasts, whether that be YouTube or Spotify or Apple Podcasts or anywhere else major platform that you stream your podcasts. Thank you so much and we'll see you at the next episode. This is the Funny Truth with adam j that is the funny truth.