The Funny Truth

Pillow Talk: "The Air Mattress Roast"

May 30, 2024 • Adam Jay / Gatsby The Artist / Joshua Harrison • Season 1 • Episode 13

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The conversation covers a wide range of topics, including The Roast of Adam's Air Mattress, comedy, podcasting, gambling, sports betting, and the challenges of living on a budget. Josh, Gatsby and Adam share humorous anecdotes and engage in lighthearted banter throughout the podcast. 

We discuss the inevitable elements of the comedy industry like: alcohol, race, and insider secrets. It delves into the challenges and experiences of being a comedian, the dynamics of different comedy clubs, and the nuances of performing in various locations. 

Additionally, it touches on the use of medication and the concept of survival in extreme scenarios.

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We have a very exciting episode for you guys, a very hilarious laughter field episode this week. My guest is none other than Joshua Harrison. He is one of the best crowd work comedians working today in comedy. Many of you just do not know him yet, but I stand by that. One of the best crowd work comedians and one of the best roast battle comedians working today in comedy. Many of you just do not know him yet. And if you haven't yet, please make sure you subscribe to the funny truth podcast wherever you get your podcast and leave us a review. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the funny truth podcast with Adam J and our guest Joshua Harrison. That is the funny truth. When I got started with the podcast I was like looking so hard at how I wanted to do things But it was all like business advice, which is still there's some benefit there like how to like make it grow You sound like Anthony aid made his like six -minute Comedy thing like the number one bestseller on like iTunes or whatever. Yeah, you know, like there's no there's no strategies like your podcast like getting it on like certain things It's like hit a certain number right? Yeah, the like number downloads in one 24 hours. It's like with the Amazon book thing We mean like initially just like that'll determine how much then you're like a bestseller or like the hot like you need to have like a good pre -release like so I was like you need to do a build -up before yeah like you can plan it like we stockpile we still have so many episodes that we haven't even done shit with damn but like like with guests mm -hmm always always a guest yeah was it just like a just stockpiling it or just wasn't you like we were stockpiling. Yeah. And then yeah I think Gatsby can do like one and a half to two videos a week. Yeah. It's a lot of work. It's a lot. Yeah. We're on top of everything else like that. But that's just our thing too. And like no for sure. Like Eric's and like various other ones. But yeah. Yeah. That's why I when I used to have a podcast when I first started fucking zero editing. We don't have time for editing. Dude I just looked up. I just I just. was on YouTube and look some and I seen the Hector Garcia posted a podcast of Gatsby, myself and Aldo. Yeah, I shot that on my camera like two years, two years ago. Yeah, I was watching it. I was like, damn, damn, it was the worst. I could see what would. What bar was it on the patio of? It was the 1227 one. Okay, yeah. I knew it. That tap. Yeah. There's no food there. You want to do a podcast? And I was smashed. I'm like looking at my... I don't even remember anything I said in that. He's all up for grabs. That's where a couple of the Anthony A-clips came from too. We were just hanging out outside of that place. dude. Because there's no food there. So we just get belligerently drunk. Well, they've been having a food truck pull up now. well, didn't help us then. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah, now it'd be the generator would ruin the podcast. No, I did one on the patio of a fucking, what was it, Witch Head. And then when they had the when they had the they tried to have a like a little tropical farm out there. really? Yeah. You remember that? No. Right after COVID, he put the little fence around. I didn't move here till the end of 2021. I started going to Woodshed until like way later. And then now I just hate going to Woodshed. So I just go every time I'm there and blacked out. Right. Yeah. No, no, no. I met Jamal. No, I know. I know. Exactly. I hate that place. He had like this little like wood picket fence around it and then that middle part right outside the smokers patio. Yeah, where it's like the little who did the podcast. I was fucking to hate the Garcia. Yeah, that's why I said I knew I was like what what patio which bar was this podcast on? Hector's an absolute road dog to yeah, like nobody knows where he actually lives, but he works. He works at Intel and then he's like. Austin, Texas. yeah, dude. I met him in El Paso, and gave him some strong ass edibles at like 1230 at night because him and his lady were driving. They're going to like Dallas or something. Dallas is like my favorite city. Not even necessarily, not even talking about like the crowds or anything. I just like the city. It's like, cause I went down to Austin during Cinco de Mayo weekend. I did some shows at Dallas Comedy Club and I went down to Austin. Felt fucking dirty, dude. Just reminds me of Portland. Like, Dallas is more like, almost like a, if I'm remembering correctly, like a Denver. Yeah, I'd feel like Dallas is more like a more chic fucking San Antonio. Yeah, the people, I think in Texas, call it like, that's the snobs up there. Yeah. Which maybe that's true, because I was like, yeah, that's not. yeah, bro, when you call your city DFW. What is that? That was Fort Worth. That was Fort Worth. yeah, because Fort Worth's like right there. Fort Worth is nice too. The TCU campus is really nice looking. See what I'm saying? Another abbreviation. Texas Christian University. We keep it short for the blacks. for sure. Jesus Christ. This sounds like their version of GCU. Yeah. No, they're purple and everything. shit. And you know that they probably watch them have some sort of ownership. absolutely, bro. Yeah, but they don't have no damn Marley. I'll tell you that. Dude. What? In Dallas? Yeah. Yeah, they do. I'm like, yeah, I'll be playing. That one bar we went to. No, no, no. Damn Marley. Dan Marley. I thought he said weed. No, that's what, that's the biggest, that was my biggest thing out of Texas was that everybody was like, you know, you can't smoke weed out there. You can't like, everybody was like, and then I get that I'm like, everybody's smoking weed. Yeah. Yeah. It's like living in a place that used to have weed that was illegal. different smokes. Yeah, I'm like, this is nothing. This is no different. It's just inconvenient. Yeah. You still got to call some guy because I took my path. I took my pen with me and they're like, you know, that's a felony. dude. I'm like, dude, shut up. I was I was out in San Antonio working in like 2016 and people were like, that vape smells like weed. I was like, because it is weed. You fucking pussy. Yeah, like I was in. New Orleans for my ex was like her brother's having a wedding and the rules there was like Edibles legal smoking weed not legal. They were they were selling edibles backwards and you could drink like you could bring like open carry like a drink Open carry drink well bourbon on your waist bourbon trees selling like these like fishbowl drinks for like ten bucks and you could just carry it in a fucking uber with you and edible but me and one of the other guys like one other like bridesmaids boyfriend, we went and smoked a blunt and came back. I was talking to the bartender, my girlfriend's mad at me. He's like, why? I was like, we were just smoking a blunt. He's like, you were smoking? Fuck, I just went full 5 .0 on me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I was just joking, dude. White people always be snitching on the drugs. That's a second story. Yeah. Look how fucking square was the bartender that he was cool the whole time and all this boys like snaps, bro I was like what the fuck he was like mad. Yes. Yeah, he was like he was probably like 15 20 years older than me But just he just felt like some weird shit. I was like Yeah, no last wedding I went to I was smoking a blunt on the fucking patio the other wedding. Yeah, that's where was it at? I ain't telling you snitch. You get yourself in trouble, dog. What was the date and time? You haven't had a picture of said crime? E .J. Glad. E .J. Glad. I guess the better question is, was it somewhere that it was legal or illegal? I don't give a fuck, dog. It depends what rules you follow. I just wait months before I snitch on myself. I remember when Statue of Limitation did. No, it was plus like, yeah, it was a bunch of fucking Assyrians. So it was like a Middle East. Assyrians love to smoke weed. Yeah, yeah. It was a Middle East wedding. So the last thing they're worried about was a black guy. What'd you hear? I like doing the dance when they drop. yeah, and the drum when the motherfuckers comes in with the drum? Woo bro. That's a real wedding. Every culture has some sort of drum that's like... Not that good though. Yeah, you're right. Not like Middle Eastern drums. Yeah, fucking white people is just the eardrum. We just got... We just got... There's a feature mother -in -law yelling in your ear. That's how you know the wedding started. We just got cover bands, dude. True or karaoke everyone sings. come on. I carry you do know what's this one wedding and The only other non white person there was a black chick and we happen to be sat at the same table We're both there as the plus one of a white person, right? and the DJ was this Mexican dude and after after the fucking Obligatory fucking chicken dance and Cuba jumble. I walked up and I was like dog, what is it like? Like just knowing all you have to do is play the widest songs. Everybody's dancing. He's like, I'm a list of them, dude. Yeah, I feel like that's sweet. Carolina Banger. If you were doing like you'll never miss. If you're doing comedy, like you might do some gigs. I don't want to do this, but how would you be? Yeah, I do. Absolutely. One time I was getting paid a pretty decent amount and it was a private birthday and I pulled up and I could hear... kids out in the backyard screaming where I was going to be performing. Time to lock in. I feel like you could do good with that though. because you first did. But this was a I was like a year and a half in and whoever I remember who else was supposed to be there, but they didn't show up. So just me. man. And like, but that's how that's how that made you. yeah, dude. I sat I was sitting outside the house and I was like. So are the kids going to be put away? But yeah, we got them. We're putting them inside. This is up there all. This is like eight fucking tiny heads poking out of a second floor window. All the kids watching the comedy show anyways. What ethnicity were they? you wouldn't be happy. I'm trying to diagnose this man because people raise their kids differently. You've been at Walmart at midnight and there's like a Mexican family with like three little kids. Not anymore. yeah, you can't do that anymore. You can't do that anymore? This is how white this is. It doesn't have 24 hours anymore. Yeah, but like, dude, late in the night, like you're like, you can't have a little story about some shit he's never done. I'm not talking about me not doing it. I'm just saying, you ever just see a little kid and you're like, bro, that's like... Wednesday night. hell yeah. You're like, especially if they're not wearing shoes. I was like, that's the wildest. Yeah. I'm like this floor is so gross. So for the show you did like I've done weird backyard shows to where I was definitely the only white guy. Not it was like a Mexican type shows like the kids were out, but they're like, no, it's fine. It's fine. huh. But you are so happy you're like all I need to know is monster base of purple or yeah Yeah, I've done some I feel more weird I think in maybe you feel the same way like when I'm on stage I don't don't give a shit But when I'm either watching myself back or like watching stuff, that's just not going well. That's what I'm like I'll kind of get like that but also I'm just like, it's in the past. I'm gonna say some more ignorant shit in the future. You seem like that more. You seem like you're a more keep it moving kind of guy. Plus you do a lot of crowd work too. Yeah, it's fun. It's where I'm in my fucking place. That's why you're always one of my favorites on the local scene coming out here. I don't know, I'm a kind of sort of all of it. I love studying the game. I love the art of it. Like people would say to Josh or anybody that's coming up, just like just like it would in sports. Like you have to do this is like, yeah, I don't think that guy's doing that though. Yeah, I know for sure. Like, I have to have a three point GPA. But what about this guy? Yeah. Yeah. But he can jump 40 inches. You can't do that. OK. Yeah. Yeah. So like because I feel like most people that would do that, it's a it's out of laziness more than is like because you could see him go for like. a year straight, you're like, you're not getting any better at this. Yeah, maybe. dude, I watch people walk themselves in the corners and they just bail out of it, but not even like elegantly. I mean, you learn from seeing that to you like, OK, yeah, maybe it don't don't say that. Yeah. Yeah. Or don't react like that. I don't know. I think part of it, too, is just like the energy. I mean, when you got a comedy club, it's. You don't have to say anything crazy, but you're like the best at saying the funniest. Like, all right. dude. Well, it's like I've done so many things to get me like super comfortable, like working at the Renaissance Festival. Sure. That's right. You did that. Yeah. And like the dunk tank was no, no, no, no. The tomato wall. Tomato. Tomato. That's what it was in the stock wall. It wouldn't be racist, but I was the only nigga who worked at the rent. So yeah, I was the diversity hire in the first place. And your job is to get thrown tomato thrown at you. yeah. Yeah. We have the gym scarecrow over here. I got the freedom that the white dudes didn't have. Could talk about the other ethnicity souls. yeah. Yes. I was out there fucking living it up I'm like why I'm like, of course people won't mind getting Talk shit to when they come to a comedy show like people come and pay me to talk shit to him right purpose Well, actually they pay for pay to throw the tomatoes. Do you ever roast her free? That's like that's that's like a weird thing that people do to know like roast me roast me I'll tell them the bag Do some jokes and I'm like I'm gonna tell you right now I'm chilling dog. Like you don't want me to turn that on Turn it off like this is as chill as I could get I'm gonna start you're gonna fucking hate you. So you got me right now, right? You're like That's crazy Yeah, yeah like yeah, it's like a you like your dog dude He's finally sitting. You're going to fucking bother him. Yeah, I just quit yelling at the car that once quit going over down the street. And then and then here you go, riling him up because you're bored, bro. dude, I'm this one guy like we it was like after party at his house and he's like, so you're coming. He's like, yeah, I'm a roaster. Wait, we were there. Wait, is it the dude and I go I go like he was like he's begging for it. Yeah, you like it I directed like I wasn't gonna do it and I'm like plus I'd really hate the feelings of someone who looks like they got a drink of warm glass of milk before they go to bed Yeah, and like I remember we all started laughing and he's just kind of like then he's like Yeah, and he just like loved it. Yeah, that was like weird. I remember that I was like, wait, we were there. Yeah. I think the people who say roast me, roast me are like, a lot of them are very sensitive to stupid sensitive. And they want to be like, they want to throw it in. So throw it in. So throw it in. So let me, all right. Because like, but they also want to be the center of attention. Yeah. So they realize until they realize it's like they're the center, but everybody else, only everybody else around is enjoying it. Right. You're getting the wrong reason. You're getting, you're the, you're the boo cocky. Yeah. You've been boo -cocked. Yeah, you've been boo -cocked. Pretty much, but I mean if you smile and take it, they'll pay you a lot. Maybe though, probably not. That's what he was doing instead of being at Walmart at midnight. Well look, look, look, how many... How many, yeah, how many, how many bukkake videos are out there? Like if you're like counted jelly beans in a jar, how many are in here? And then like, and then, and then we had to divide the actual like average earnings, man. It's probably not as much as you think. The average earnings per bukkake. like like price per nut. Yeah, like CPB. dude, dude, I don't even know who that's really even for. Right. You know, like that, like like like like dudes for sure. Got to be like, like on average, it's dudes that don't ever get knee pussy. Yeah, they just want to be one in the crowd. Yeah. Yeah, at least I'm there. Yeah, because like, could you imagine like, like you're just in line with a bunch of dudes fluffing it? Yeah, but some dudes can't imagine that because they're like, how else am I going to get it? Yeah, it's like, I hope I don't come early. It's going to be on this dude's butt cheeks. And he's got three more in front of him. Dude, yeah, like there's no way everybody's not getting came on at some point during that. Right. There's like, yeah, just logistically. Right. That's like getting sweated on, dude. Fuck dude. Dude yeah, do you ever be in the sauna at the gym? No offense gets me. Fuck me bro. I'll be at the gym sometimes. Look at, okay first of all, you just got skinny again. I'm sober now and I go to the gym. Yeah, so I can do fat jokes now. yeah on the other side. I would like looking at you. I'd never imagine you live on the third floor. The only cardio I get it's not for weight loss just to stay alive. You're like I live on the third floor. I call it survival training. facts. The doctor said I need to get a minimum of this many steps. You know it's funny though is like people's body type still to like I've seen fat people that can move. Yeah crazy. I joined a I actually got to be a ball like a motherfucker natives love. Yeah native of course. They're just usually not tall. But they do. So I joined the city league whenever they whenever they're slender, they always got a long ponytail on a break. Yeah, you don't ever see a skinny baby play ball without a ponytail. And how the fuck does he get 21 five times in a row in the high rollers room? We were born of it. Yeah. Carmichael payback. That's a joke I did one time. I said it to two natives at woodshed. I was like, I was like, yeah, I was doing a show at a reservation. You know, that's always a gamble. No, they were like, fuck you. They're still wearing their fucking dealer vest. Jesus, dude. Yeah, you got to work your way up to just you don't get to just be a dealer like I've heard them gossiping to each other about like working there like when I've been playing like Other things you can find out at midnight. Yeah, really good benefits. It's gotta work your way up. It's like shift change. That should be so exhausting It might be like imagine. Yeah, you imagine you come in there. You have a you're having as a dealer. You're having a shitty day. Everybody's gonna fucking have shit guards though. Like nobody. Yeah, anybody like I thought it's the only time I've ever wanted a blackjack table is when the energy is high at the table. Yeah, yeah, it's because you're black and think energy means like more than you know what I mean? But look, I'm I'm rolling to the casino with friends. They got to talk to the dealers. You're lonely. The only one here about the Mexican kids at midnight at Wal -Mart. His experience at the casino is just so lonely. And you're like, no, I went there to have fun, man. We're all joking and yucking it up. Josh. You don't really know. You go to the casino. You know how you hate your life when you hate your life and it's the only thing that's open and you're blackout. You know how that happens. You know how you sound like, no. you must in a game where the house always wins. Why aren't you investing in the real estate? My point is you should be you need to be up there with getting tomatoes torrential and blackjack deal at the same time Josh Fuck you would be a great blackjack dealer for someone that would be like fuck out. I'd have too much fun It's like you would start really hitting them deep like there goes your kids Yeah, cuz I've been recently I've been doing I was a guy I'm a whole heckler golf tournaments. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a whole heckler. yeah They pay us to be out there. I didn't even know that was a thing. heck no. Are you allowed to do that? Like, what are you allowed to do? Amy to do it like at what? I mean, like at what? Like, is it like just one hole or is it like, yeah, we're at one hole. Yeah, they come to us. Papa, you do that. Do you have a box? Huh? Is it a box? Yeah, we're like fucking right. We follow him like a haunted house or is it just they come to us. They roll up and they're like, yeah, so you're just shooting the shit and then you're like, OK, time to get time to roll now. Can we come film that? We probably it's a come on. We were there already. We already have some footage. I've already made two motherfuckers lose their loser club on their swing down because of shit. I said, what's the wildest thing you said? Well, the first one I did was cops is for fallen officers. Yeah. And and they were like, I was like, how hard can we go? And they're like. goes hard as you can. And I was like, say less. I want a standing ovation. Because we're getting them on the... I'm getting them the whole time they're there, but we're also trying to really fuck them up in their backswing. Okay. So like, I'll fuck them up. And then I'll be like, damn, dog. I'm like, bet you would hit that ball a lot harder if it was resisting. Did he laugh? dude, they loved it. There was like only three cops all day that couldn't turn off being a cop. And I could just tell they were just like, as soon as they roll up and see a black guy, there's like. I gotta get out of my AC truck. Yeah, really like dude like look like they'd write their wife a citation if they were busy. Is that a country club? last one we did was a Trudin Scottsdale. yeah. So again. Yeah, that's a dough bad scores, too. Really? yeah, dude. We had they had us on we're always on a part three. Yeah, I know I sound like I know what I'm saying. I know it's like you're on I have not a goal. You don't got a golf to talk shit to golfers. First of all, yeah, nobody... You don't have to golf the golfers. Golfers talk shit about themselves. You're like, how you shooting today? I don't even know why I'm playing today. I'm awful at this. And then you're like, thank God I was away from my wife all day. Dude, golfing is the wildest thing, like when you... Because it's fucking, it's so expensive. It is. Unless you have a membership. And and and they're paying me to be at the golf course. So I figured out next level golf No, I used to work at a golf course just like a play for free. did you have to? Yeah, if you're if you're serious about it, well like people were It is a serious hobby. yeah, dude. So yeah, I was when I was in Boise, Idaho my buddy we were playing boys Yeah, when they when they give you like a you know, when you have like three people like our parents went up with you for animalism fucking dude Fucking dude, but like the back the back nine dude He's fucking going like this past security like fucking lost his phone, you know having like his 12 year old kid come pick him up like a Ford F -350 And yeah, he pulled out his garbage bag and it's just full of those like little shooters of every yeah top -shelf alcohol is like Jesus Christ, it's either it's like raging alcoholic like salespeople or old people. Yeah People, CEOs, CFOs, head of marketing. It's crazy. I got to meet Timeless. I got to meet the owner of Timeless and his top marketing and distribution guy. And they're so chill, bro. Do they just make wax or they make other stuff? Or everything? It's Timeless, baby. They make you whatever they want, bro. They limited by time, my guy. Unlike those old mud huts we knocked out to put in our forklift. Timeless timeless bitch, but now so yeah, bro You're like I'm roasting the top people like for distribution with Hensley and stuff for some of these tournaments. you can see bro. It's like Dad alone and those people love to drink cuz shit falls off the top all the time, bro I used to work at Walgreens and talk with those people. They're like the rats and shit Yeah It's like putting it on the company card. I always hate how people I always hate how people like because I've never worked for I'm gonna work for a company. So like when people like with flex, I'm doing this like you do not in a company's dime. No. Good like yeah, that shit hits different. Yeah, yeah That shit hits different. They the most all like the Every foursome there's the dude who has the the company card with the least limits Everybody be like Darryl Darryl this one's on you Put it on the company card right you like zero just it's gross you like how the fuck are we in debt? What the fuck? Nah, dude Right off. Yeah, this is a company meeting. Yep. Yeah Yeah, it's a ride -off dog. It's like he needs they're in desperation. But my brother was yeah, they're right off Somebody's paying the bill. Yeah, eventually the government Company outing it has to be three people there from the company. Yeah, that's it bro. Bro It's like it's like people like who gamble right? Say you say you fucking hit it big But you also have all this record of all these times you lost. Yeah, you can write out $5 ,000 a year. Exactly. And then you give the rest of your profits away as a gift. Yeah, we were talking. We're we talk. We talked about that. I was like, what did you do? We talked about that shit like you either either pace it like you either make so much money that you can like you made 60 mil. You could pay somebody a couple mil or one mil to do your taxes. I'm paying less. Yeah, she makes sense. Because they got all the they got all the game. Yeah, there's so much shit that you you have to give. You have to give so much, but in the end you get it all. You just have to have the capital. You have to have the starting capital for it. Like if you're rich already, then you can just kind of front the money to yourself. That's everything. It's really, every day it gets harder to be like, break the seal of the next level of like having something, dude. Because everything's more expensive. Jobs. But it's almost every day is going to change what you want. Right. I think I think there's ways out. But like it still doesn't mean it's not tough. for sure. You know, like the day to day like it ain't ever not tough. Right. And then even the people you got only got it all is tougher down to. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, as long as I mean, as long as we got all the necessities of it, you're like, is it going to go to shit? I mean, who knows? Who knows? Like that, but every day. So this is why you go to the. Yeah, I was going to say this is what this is the cost of playing blackjack on the other side of the table from that. I don't even play like that. God. I was like, holy fuck. What? What out there, bro? It's always going to shit. I mean like everything's always just death. Death is the biggest motivator. Biggest motivator. Here we are. Take that for what you want it to say. Death or death? Death. This shit right here. That's close, though. There's got to be some sort of you know, it's funny how words are always very like. I was just telling him before you got here, I was like, yes, TV program. programming. I'm like, it's really in the word. It is. And it is a witch's spell. You spell words. I'm like, yes. And but then this sort of on that ship, even like songs with the hook. yeah. yeah. You're repeating that shit, dog. You're manifest. Manifesting it. Yeah. It's like a chant. Yeah, bro. Once you start this, once you say it is once it's the thought in your head and once you say it out loud, you're already on that path. You're going to make moves intentionally because that's what's on your mind. That's what they say when you meditate, you're supposed to have like a word, a chant. The om, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing. When you're singing a song, you're basically just locked into that same hook. I do shit like that. Could never make it a habit, but would do it for like a couple days. Or I'd just be feeling a little bit. Man, I could use something. But I don't need anything either. Like a fucking ace in a 10. Dealer also got it. I could really use something. And that's something very simple. It's a BJ, but not the one you're thinking. When she gives when she given you a BJ, but you really thinking about the other BJ that you lost a black Joshua. Triple entendre, don't even ask me how BJJ Black Jack Joshua lights out to guys lights out on the table. He gets the least amount of tips. So what are you doing? You're doing a bunch of different. How come you don't tell you don't you don't promote none of this stuff? I don't ever see you. You're like you're like five different Instagrams. I got got my original. I got hacked and then fucking my phone screen. My phone broke. I was trying to log in and I forgot that the two step verification. And so I got locked out. I got blocked. I get it out, bro. I got blocked by that. I can't. But anything I post on Facebook goes to it. Do you ever think that they want to purposely like make us all get dementia so that we forget our passwords and then they can just take it over? Well, the bitches just stay three. Well, because like think about three fucking think about your password. How many how many diabetes? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah. How many things have you signed up for? I didn't know that. But I also want to hear what he's going to say. How many things have you signed up for where it's like, we recommend a secure password and it's like the computer will make one for you or you. Yeah, I hate that shit. You got one or two options, bro. It just doesn't seem right. This one's the most I need to have the most secure. What do you want me to do? And then like, well, we have a password. They got you, dude. Yeah, got you. You go with it. What you go with. I never go. I usually stay on 16. Well, what? It's a blackjack reference to tables pissed fuck him. I don't care. Let's see what the dealer is a fucking Drake reference. So you know, it's actually like talking about blackjack is really funny though, like because people get very serious about it. I'm like, yeah, I know you're supposed to stay mathematically, but I'm like, how many times you've been fucked in that game to you just like it. People are like, what the fuck are you doing? And it actually hits me like. Why does it seem like blackjack is like a center point of your life? Bro, that's the best part about gambling, dawg, is like, yeah, there's people who fucking hit. But most of the time, it's just a bunch of people who've lost a bunch of money telling a bunch of people how to lose a bunch of money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and how is that any different than like people saying go to college or go do this? You know, like, yeah, the casino is just, it's the bright lights. I'll tell you what, dawg, I'm fucking, I'm balled out because of listening to people when I first started. Yeah. Why does it work initially and then like I guess it's just statistics. It's all has to even out. You have to you have to know that you're going to take losses to get the you have to have bankrolls. You have to have a bankroll. But it's the worst advice. No, it's not like it isn't. They like when I really think about it, I'm like, that's so stupid. No, but I feel like it's pretty strong because a lot of everybody tries. Have you ever had a homie who like. has to win their money back before they leave. yeah. That's the they lose the most. That's the people who don't understand that you sometimes you're going to take a loss. I get that. Yeah, yeah. I can. I barely gamble, but if I do, I'll go with 20 bucks. Yeah. And I'll play till that's gone. Yeah. If I'm up, if I'm like, if I get up, you got to walk away, walk away. And then I can. I lose 20 bucks. well, it's the walking away. No, I got I really got into like poker and poker is a strategy game. But again, like there's a difference between playing tournaments. I went to, you know, here and took second place, but I played cash games. We're like, dudes are bullying you. Would you, would you, would you pull from second place? like 600 off like a $65 buy -in. We split, we chopped it. I'd take four hours. That's not bad at all. No, it was like a good payday. They do like that. Yeah, really. If you break it down like that. I mean, shit, I'm one for two in tournaments, but cash games different. That shit's fucking can rinse you. Yeah, cuz motherfuckers be adding money. Yeah, they be pulling shit out of me. Yeah, dude, I'm literally there with $100 like, this is like half my net worth right now, but I feel like I feel like I'm I feel like I'm better than these dudes, but he got 10 times my money. So I'm gonna. I get one good hand. I got to I got to fucking yeah. Well, yeah, because they're going to take you all in as fast as possible. dude, dude, dude I read three books before I got here, bro. I'm trying to figure out how to say. it's the fucking wall right now. You don't fucking hear me. My therapist is my casino dealer. I didn't even order a drink, bro. I tell you this. Definitely sports sports was such a big part of my life for a long time. And then like I just didn't care. I was like, OK, but then like. found sports betting. And then I was like, I want to try and actually win at this. It's a lot like being a stock trader or to Bitcoin people. Like there is some knowledge, then there's some insider shit that you don't know that you're like, you don't know how much that's weighing against you. And then there's also just like, you know, like Stu, this Gatsby's. Yasmin and I have been together when we put some crazy bets down. I'm not even saying they're crazy. I know he's native. I was like, this is your dealer. My biggest point. I'm like, yeah, we should go to the casino. I don't spend money there. We put like, I wait for the check. I remember putting like 50 bucks on a WNBA game. And I mean, that's like probably 20 % of my net worth at this time. Now they're offering a bonus bet to put down 50. But like, dude, I've never, I've never been so entertained and so disappointed at the same time, dude. And it went to overtime like, man, I was like, man, the funniest thing I ever heard anybody say about you said, Josh said you have a sleep number bed, but that was a good one. Lost my shit. Right, bro. And, you know, I gotta wake up to it every day. Right in the middle. Josh is like, bro, you need to be more humble. You see my bed? What do you want? Bro, and I think I went through like three or four, by the time it was all said and done, I think I went through like three or four air mattresses before I got to sleep on a bed consistently. The first time my mattress got fucked is my buddy was in town from Boise. The first night he spent. The whole gambling is like an origin story. But you should have done a review video for all four of us. This was my favorite. Did you had did you ever get one that the fake headboard? No, no, I just I just I literally I literally bought the same one. Do because when I first when I first. This is how dumb I am, dude. When I first moved here, I've always had a bed, you know, because I was comfortable. You know, I get it. No, but I'm talking about growing up. yeah. And so like when I moved, dude, like my first. You're getting to assure us that you slept on a bed at one point. I know. Shut the fuck up. You're like, yeah, OK, but. That's how I didn't even know air mattress was an option until someone told me like I was sleeping on a hardwood for like the first two weeks I was living here. Like just I was like fuck I gotta keep driving. What was his name? The name was Uncle Sam. I was sleeping on a hardwood. Yeah but I was like the hardwood floor like this this type of floor and then my home is like why don't you get an air mattress. fuck I could do one of those. And I found a nice one. Was that like he told you something profound? Yeah, bro, I didn't know. That's what I'm telling you. I didn't know. Yeah, this will act like once he moved out of fucking, once he moved to Arizona, he wasn't allowed to have a bed. He's like, wait. No, no, no. I didn't even think of a bed. No, I did. You're allowed. I did, bro. I had a friend who like I was supposed to move in with him. He was like, yeah, bro, you're going to have to get your own spot. And that was like two hours from pulling up here. And then I just. always thought it was a bed I didn't even think about air. So I was like trying to save up driving every day like doing grocery deliveries trying to fucking save up for a bed. I was like, air mattress? Fuck. Yeah, you're probably getting shitty sleep, so you fucking couldn't have good ideas. You probably went into a psychosis. Yeah, it wasn't good. Sleep -deprived psychosis. He just sleep in like a chalk mart. Yeah, like a fucking chalk outline on the floor. I made it. That's the extent of his living like a refugee. He just drew himself a chalk outline and just splinted it every day. Nah, I was using some shit, but I made the choice. I was like, I'm not. I'm not going back. Like I had a day, my friend, he fucked me over twice, but he's like, he told me like a day before like, yeah bro, it's not gonna be able to blah, blah, blah. And I was like, he's like, you can still stay here for the first few months to the new year and save up some money and then get an apartment. I was like, cool. And I get there and he's like, yeah, fuck me shit. But I was like I already made the decision that I'm not going back because I when I first did got into comedy I was like I'm signing up for this Just then that's why I came out here. I didn't I was like I signed up for it I feel like your whole time out here is learning how to be poor Yeah, that was that was one of the funniest things First time I want Yeah that bad yeah Always had a bed. Sly flex. Guys are just fucking laughing. They're like, fuck, what up pussy dude? Fuck his dad, dude. What a piece of shit, dude. Fucking. He said, I always did. And then I didn't. Yeah. And I didn't know you could buy another one. But I know you I didn't know you they had ones that self -inflating shit. Hey, this was just sleeping on the hardwood floor just crying No crying from mama we sent me a picture my bed Hell hell remember you remember when you had that cardboard over here and I sleep it on I said, that's my car. That's my cardboard like a legit squatter. These one type of bitch just walks past the cardboard bed in your living room and you're like this is where my homie at and still gives you buzzy. That's great. Yeah. Is that a flex? Yeah. He's just like this was just like calling all his homies at the res like yo guess who's living on my floor on. card. A white boy. Guess who's got a you just sleep in and he's on snap. He's like guess who's got a white boy. Yeah, he actually he's getting all the pussy rough. I've never really been like a big pussy getter like of course it happens but like I don't know never never The way you nonchalantly look Yes, it's crazy like I'm just like I just thought we were friends and you thought I was just a piece of meat It hurts my feelings too. I feel really bad for you, man Yeah, then you just go back to your piece of cardboard. You're like, fuck this. I'm going home now. I'm crawling a little circle first. This is Adams on it. And then you have a picture of a fucking bed drawn on it. It's a fucking box that a fucking bed frame came in. That's what he's sleeping on. my God. I don't even know what's been said this whole time. my God. Yes. This is like like there's people you can bring on you be like formal bus like I'd truly had so much fun with certain episodes that we film. I was fucking yeah. It's just dude, it's like dude that was the time I only mentioned his name, but I got punched over a junior chicken. Gatsby was there. We filmed like three shows back to back and it was like went through like You don't drink anymore, but they used to have these they have these monster drinks. You had those? Alcoholic ones. Yeah. They just taste like they don't know the energy. They taste just like it, bro. I'm a O .G. I used to drink Sparks. Remember Sparks? Yeah, I remember Sparks. But these monsters, these monsters, dude, they taste just like the monster. But there's no caffeine. So you just slamming them, dude. And I was just you remember how you said you go make yourself at home? Yeah, I brought over like a fucking 12 pack and was like. Whatever and I was gone live trying to promote something and he was in there talking shit and I was like, bro, you're so ugly. You started fucking shit on him. Yeah. And then everyone, everyone could get it to that. I was like, I'm pissed off now. That was a funny live live somewhere. dude, I'm sure you had to roast battle for it. And I was like, you motherfucker. He put me up. I was like, because he cares so much more about this than me. I was like, I think he got so serious. I made him lose because he beat me. He beat me. And I was like, no, say what you needed to say. He was banging at first, too. yeah. Banging, bro. And then he got in his feelings. Yeah. He got in his feelings and it just got too serious for everyone. yeah. Yeah. And like by split decision, 43, 42. Dude, what do you have to do in a row? Like what? I was battles are like different. I think I figured out you saw it the last time I did a roast battle. Yeah, I swept. It was easy. Yeah, it was also in Scottsdale. Yeah, but how many I was tight. I mean, I got 200 from it. Yeah, but. I learned, dude, the jokes I wrote for one person, I was like, let's carry this over to the, cause like the comics, dude, I just talked about this on the last episode I was doing. I hit some people with some zingers. I got told Peter Jordan, I was like, after his first kid, he refused to have sex without his hat on. And only people that know, I've never seen him not in a hat. And like, the people are like, I don't fucking get it. But people would say the same insults to me, like the same six to 10 things I'm like. I got called up post the clip. I say I called Lady Q Harriet Chubman. But we're in we're in Chandler and it was like, it was a leukemia fundraiser. So it's like, but they brought a roast battle to it. We got Sally. Rob, maybe it's like Rob did great the first round because he's up against another white guy in the second round just got demolished because the crowd was like, fuck him. It was a bunch of white guilt. All of it, dude. Because it was yeah, it was like 125 ticket price to get in for this donation thing. I was like, I was like, yeah, roasting is not for these like this. Yeah, roast, roast me, roast me. All right. I was drinking malt liquor before my set. You ever get those two for four at like Circle K, the like the 10 percent cocktails. yeah. Like that's bang for your buck. It really is. It's the most disgusting thing you could ever do. I used to do those when I would do like door dashes. What are you talking about? You talk about the the drinks you get from circle K. No, but which ones? it's like their cocktails something. They literally say they're like in a silver can like the most cheapest drinks. They're like they're like Long Island sex on the beach. Yeah. Margarita to her for 10 percenters. Yeah. And they're 10 percent. And they're so just like they're like beatboxes. But yeah, no, they are. They've been around for forever. Yeah. Especially at Long Island. It's always a Long Island. yeah. Fucking you. Long Island for a long long long islands like a fucking the white version of tequila. Hey, wow. Hey, Long Island, 10 percent. If she's not tipping me during DoorDash, I'm still getting 10 percent. You know what I'm saying? Either way, I'm getting my numbers. Yeah. You might be an alcoholic if you already have fucking drinking lines like that. Well, I ain't no quitter. I don't know. It's just like I've always looked at all drugs as more of a charcuterie board. Like, man, sometimes, you know, lay off the drinks. I take breaks, too. I never but I never announced that I'm done for life. That's dumb. But like there's times where you know you need to take a step back and fucking head fucking and then sometimes. Nothing sounds better than just you know knocking back a 12 or 12 pack with your boys. I don't miss it. Yeah usually after like the first week you actually get pretty good. How long has it been. I don't know. It'll be a year in July 19 but that's because there's that's because there's so many other things that you can do if. If everything was taken away because everyone everyone always got something. I have more fun not drinking. Well, but you got to be on something else. Yeah, for sure. I'm saying I'm saying I'm saying we try. You ever try doing your drugs with mental clarity? I don't know the last time I've had it, but at the blackjack table. I swear to Christ. Gatsby and I have a thing where we say that clarity was her tribe name. She sounds hot. She keeps it. She keeps it hairy though. It's braided, though. But let's. What are you complaining? Gatsby and I have white people, white people like white people. yeah. We hit each other with white people sayings like the like the more we think about them, like get a load of this guy more like I went to go see the one I thought of. Really screwed the pooch on that one. yeah. Shove it up your ass. Yeah. Or so I went to go see what all the fuss was about. I heard someone say that, but that pissed me off. The dude was my age, brother. It pissed me off. What was I heard this guy say? this full like really said G will occurs. Yeah, that's like that's like like that's like cartoony. that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like From somewhere he was a gen Z er bro. What what do you say? Yeah? I don't know dude. I did I did warm ins I did MMA for a little bit and the dudes that would always be fucking beating my ass to be like soccer dad bods like fucking like me see I'm choking out soccer dad bod feel like fucking He like like like he's he's a couple belts ahead of me Bro, they because they be around your wrist maybe maybe they be talking to you while they're choking you like nice I bet they do now you see I'm doing this right here. He's like this is romantic. Yeah. yeah Just like really intimate for no reason Great you got a job at Intel you can afford his membership Talking sweet to you. Yeah I Ordered this shit and then and then cancel my card So I'm here for the month. Dude, dude, Josh, do you have chime? No. Yeah, Josh is like true Arizona black Its own race. It's its own race. Thank you for acknowledging it. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Talk white. It's like, no, just black. Just niggas in Arizona. We enunciate. That's the only difference. Yeah. And there's no sling out here. You know, we all grew up on beds. Our dads, our dads all went to the desert. man. Yeah, but I mean, Arizona is just a melting pot of like America's a melting pot. But then there's like, wow, right here is like it's it's funny. It's a huge it's a huge like swarm of people that are like some probably for corporate jobs, others that are like, I wanted to get out of the Midwest because it's fucking snows and it's negative 30 degrees like conservative Portland. It's still better. No, but that's what I'm saying. Yeah, conservative. Austin, Austin, Austin. Sorry, I said it. Austin's a conservative. No, I didn't. Austin's like an in between like if it's on the spectrum like like a like a like like like they're fucking centralists. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It's. It's an interesting place, but it's just it's just dirty man. It's just like another Portland. Yeah, that's part of it. You know, because it's like it's like that's kind of what you get when you have a you know, autumn was writing and you close your eyes every city just as I was talking to autumn and he was like, buddy, the comedian dude, he he has like a he's actually like special ed, like has a paperwork and shit, but he. He'll be hitting he'll be hitting no, but he's got a fucking card. Yeah Dude he's don't mind my laughing at the condition. He's a crazy dude. He like he's like, I don't know anything about I don't Know anything about cars but like he just like went on YouTube figured out a fix like his like car up and he's like Yeah, I'm gonna drive all the way from Portland to Phoenix and I was like Okay show up He showed up. And I was like, and then he made it all the way to New York and he made all the way to Texas. He's like, I was looking for a place to live. I was like, where can I have my dog without a leash? Because he's got some people. It's like definitely will kill somebody. Yeah, not well trained, but that's what he's committed his life to. Man and his dog and his fucking van. Zoinks. I've met some of the weirdest people in my life. Dude, hang it out with you, dude. You're like, I know this guy and it's the weirdest person I've ever met in my life. Well, yeah, like, but I acknowledge that, like, I know that this guy might make other people in this room uncomfortable. Somebody's making me feel uncomfortable, but like, I still fuck with him, but not a good, like, dude, he met my dad with him. He came and he's like, he's like a collector. Yeah. He came and he shook my dad's hand like this. I was like, this is my dad. And he was like, Well It's like we were talking about that though with like kill Tony it's like he they kind of have just the freaks that like kind of Stand out, you know, he is a freak dude. He's a funny. He's a and there's certain people man certain people I don't know, but he says he's retarded or like his classifies retarded But like I'm like he seems like more even though he's wild still more well put together than the people that would be considered a smart kids and you're like, Was I actually in special ed this whole time? I was taking the hard classes, but really that was the programming. The special ed kids was like, fuck this, bro. I remember they came to give me this test in school and they were like, do this. And I was like, why'd you pull me out of class? And I was like, it was like finger painting or something, you know, that I was interested in. And they pulled me out to make me do the spelling shit. And I was like, fuck this spelling test. And they're like, remedial. But I was just mad because they took me away from what I wanted to be doing. Alright bro, fuck off. laughter I'm just saying that you ever seen the meme No, you're seeing a meme that's like the The the special ed kid after passing second grade math to get his high school diploma. I did it. I've won This is just a picture in his house that he grew up in where he had the bed His parents had that shit written on the wall. There's a picture of him What I shouldn't listen to that like what you're lucky were high What just telling of that story wild I don't remember That was I was just thinking about how is like nobody there's no perfect in comedy. There's nobody There's not a hundred percent success rate of people saying that you're funny or whatever and in fact The more like Maybe subscribers or likes or things you get the more like mean things come along with it Sure, but like also like I'm thinking of it subjectively like there's and I think everyone's entitled to my opinion like Truthfully, my mom, I cannot remember a time where my mom really ever laughed at me, dude. Like, she was always actually like legitimately like, like I say something sarcastic, she'd be like, like raising an eyebrow like, I think something's wrong with him. My dad be like, that's a good one. Everyone else laughed, but like never, she never laughed. Are they still married? Yeah. Yeah, they just moved they just moved out of my childhood home. There's really no going back. I can't I can't go anywhere. What they do with your old bed Burned it. Well, that's another story. I Gave it to a rescue dog. So so there was a dog that was sleeping on your old mattress while you were sleeping on a cardboard made that up I made that up for your own entertainment Josh. I made it up so you could go crazy with it. That'd be so hilarious though. Just you sleeping on the cardboard with a raggedy ass dog. Honestly, I can see why homeless people become alcoholics if they weren't already there. Because if you drink 240s, you could sleep anywhere. Damn. Yeah, I've seen Celia do it. Fair. But when I said 240s, I meant pounds. Ha ha. No, but for real I had that one back in the steel reserve. Back in the steel reserve. That's you and wherever you're sleeping right now. man, it probably stinks under them folds. I'm out. I remember Josh Josh finally put me on the shittiest I saw him eat shit and I was like well, I'm bad to eat shit I told someone to look trans Yeah, you told me what you're gonna do and I was like, yeah, you shouldn't do that. Yeah, but dude, if I'm watching you eat shit. Isn't that what we talk about? If I'm watching you eat shit, I'm like, well, fuck it, dude. No expectations here tonight. These guys look like they are not ready to party. Well, but also I think in all seriousness, when it comes to like comedy, like I'm I'm very like I said, I love I just love the art of it. Like there is a there is an art to how you would structure, you know, acoustically a building. to be conducive towards comedy and lighting and all that shit. And it's like doing it outside with like, and the fuck up on a thing is like, even if you're crushing, it's like crushing a devil's like, one loud car goes by like, yeah, we're out here. We're really out here. And like, and you can see everybody's faces and you just don't give a shit, dude. I'm like, dude, I get more mean the more I don't give a shit. It's like, It's just you start going off the rails a little well like for my own enjoyment because like I'm like I'm bored with this shit like I got it I got to do something I don't I don't care if you laugh or not How much time I have up here am I getting paid fuck it then but like or I Really don't have a desire to do anything. That's not paid just for a simple fact I feel like a paid show commands more attention from an audience than someone offering something for free Now there are certain occasions where like where your show at the bar you have you have a regular crowd that you keep but in most again Josh you're always in that 98 percent the other percent people that take something for free now they don't respect it. There's not if you go to the movies all the time for free you talk a lot more. I'm sure you can be done. Yeah. In your in your case but. 2 % you know for Okay, we'll take it. That's the crazy thing, dude, is all the racial division that they keep is like, there was still black dudes running shit since the beginning of time, too, and being traitors. Quentin Tarantino made a fake movie about it. Like, there were black slave owners. They're like, psh, that guy gets his bread. Whatever happened in that movie, remember there was supposed to be a movie coming out where white people were the slaves and black people were the owners? Was that the real thing? Yeah. Is it not Rick and Morty? No, shit. That would be a good parody. But again, that's just even playing deeper into it. It's like, no, it's still a money thing. But like, yeah, there was racism, but they're like, you got bread? OK, fuck. Because like the one thing would like and I don't know anything, nobody does. But like during the Civil War, right, a black northerner was like five times more educated than a white southern. They were. Yeah, because they weren't fucking their cousins. That's probably plays a part, but you got a certain amount of cousins got to get fucked to reproduce quickly. You don't think there's one inbred like good looking inbred person? I mean. I'm pretty sure there's a good -looking inbred person. They're not telling everybody that they're inbred. That's what I'm saying. I think they're just gonna act normal. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm trying to tell you guys. Somebody's Jewish and sees the blocks getting hot, they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. I don't know what you're talking about, dog. Somebody that's... We'll take a note. I forgot. my god. Right. Our we can call it. Let's give it. Let's give Adam two more topics. What can we throw in the lead back to depression? How are you going to sit there and fucking? You know, you're right. I'm the most sad boy out of everyone here, dude. This whole time, did you figure out to be poor? Yeah, man, this shit sucks, dude. I wasn't really complaining about it. saying like that's my funny experience. That's the funny truth. Is it funny for Adam CBD just means card cardboard bed. Yeah. One gives me pain. The other one cares. You ever sleep on a bed of empty PBR? What about that? What about a sales pitch like a fucking car commercial but for cardboard? Could it go? wait, like a sketch? Yeah, like a, like a. they work another guy with a good camera couple of them actually want one? Yeah. No, he's a native. One time was the other. Where is that? I was at the store with my girlfriend and she was like, let's guess who wants a drink? And I was like, who gives a shit? He's native. There was like three natives standing next to me. And she walked away and I was just like, fuck it. And then they started laughing. It's like, you know I'm right. You know what I'm wrong? Just get the natural lights. Dude, 50. So she made it uncomfortable. I feel like with a lot of that stuff, it's really like if you ever apologize, it would be like... play it off. Whatever roges straight confidence. Especially like basketball players. You have a white coach, but the players are black. They just don't coach. It's like confident. It's like, Listen up. You're right. You're right. You're right. I've seen it. What a picture of you. You're the only white dude on the team. There is a couple of white kids, but yeah, it's getting a couple of white kids. But you could be white and be from like just Lori and kind of just act like a fucking like it was it was a funny thing I learned in like one of my college classes, which was like sports. One of them was like racism and sports or something like that. One of the things was like, yeah, no, I had to do with race and sport. I did pay attention. It was like if a white guy can dunk or like has a crazy athleticism, like, he's such a hard worker. But if it's a black guy, they're like, he's so naturally gifted. or like, yeah, backs black players. Like also not true. I knew I knew white boys that were fucking just gifted. It's just like had a crazy like vertical jump in the softest cardboard lapses. That's too funny. That makes a man. Where did you? What part of the room did you? I don't forget where I came from either. You mean you put this thing where the shoes go? I mean, he can move that wherever it needed to go with Lady Bird. You just like walking and dropping your keys over him. There was no keys in the car anymore. No, no. Gatsby dropping his own keys. But you got a speaker right above your fucking. Had some real nose bangers in here. Yeah, we've done a lot of trucks in this room. I've done personally. I can tell there's a... Dead roach in the corner. Yeah, but also a dryer sheet. yeah, true. I'm gonna use that dryer sheet and tuck that roach in before I leave. Is that like so the smoke doesn't get out? That's like, yeah. I remember I smoked. I remember I was with my team. Again, we're in Idaho. And I was like, I brought there with the boys. Well, you're smoking. You know, you know, the Hawaiian hot box when you turn the what you don't turn the fan sounds like a Idaho thing. No, you turn the shower on without the fan and you like hotbox it in there. You get naked and you put this. This sounds very homoerotic. Right. But anyway, how many do you know fan on? We did have to. Yeah, no fan on and we put a towel under the door. Yeah. And then like one of the dudes is like, how many dudes? It's just me and like two of my teammates and one of the girls from the girls team. And then the dude was like, yeah, bro, I'm gonna say what up. He dipped out the door and he fucking opened it and like the whole second floor is illegal in Idaho. And I'm blast. You know, when you're blasted and you're like, I smell like weed and you don't know. Everyone's like, dude, it's like fucking we near like does it like I had a bunch of weed all over the counter and the new manager. Anybody who does me does that. The manager comes up like the hotel. He's like, it's like marijuana. I was like, it does like I don't fucking I bluffed him, dude. I was like, it does. I was like, my friend did have some. And I told him it's illegal here and that he needed to leave immediately. He was like, I was like, you can come check the room if you want to. There's just fucking ashes and like blood all over the fucking. All over the place. He could have easily done. Told you this niggas a snitch. You check if you want. I do. It's a poker move. I really said that though with the confidence, not knowing that like that shit was right behind me. I was like, no, you can check if you want. Unless you need that ignorance, because I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have gone in with that. So it's good because like everyone's like, shit, fucking like we're going to get. I was just like back to everyone. I was like, you talking about roll fucking. Just. threw myself in the fire and fucking he's like, no, no, no, my bad, my bad. I didn't know how bad you know you smoke and you don't know how bad it smells like weed but the whole upstairs fucking smell like weed it was like a two -bedroom hotel in Idaho like yeah two floors you know what I mean yeah pretty much dude it was yeah but they they're one of those weird conservative states it's like I know is actually pretty cool like Boise As far as like the pleasure the land out there is beautiful. There's just really not if you especially if you want to do like comedy What the fuck would you do out there? There's nowhere you just you would already need to be established and just travel from there and use that but It's a really nice and beautiful place, but it's fucking it's still like no weed like they have like this most strict concern Where this is I think Arizona is like the most in the middle You hello. Do you live in Arizona Josh? I was born here. You're born here. I didn't know that Yeah. Where would you have guessed Josh was from if he wasn't here? I'd say like Queens. New York probably. Yeah. Just because you're abrasive. But that's how I am too. Like when I go to New York, people like that. Yeah, dude. But my New York friends. You should. It's great. Yeah. You'd have a blast. My New York friends are some of the mean as far as the way they talk to you, but they're also there for you. more than, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly, because they don't measure you. Yeah, you gotta be fucking kidding me. All right, fine, I'll fucking, yeah, I've had some people help me out. I've always said that, like, and then the West Coast, like the LA vibe is just super fake. so fake, bro. And then like Dallas to me is like, man, you got the fucking baddies from the South, like probably good housewives versus you got the ones out here that's like the LA, fake LA. The LA bitches. The ones who couldn't make it in LA, nobody can. It's so goddamn expensive. And it's a shithole. Spill over. They didn't scratch enough backs. When was the last time you've been to... I'm going to LA in July for doing the chocolate sundaes. hell yeah, hell yeah. How long ago did you play for that? Like two years. That's so crazy. You never applied for it? No. I don't know. You're probably not good for black crowd. So hilarious. I just think Josh, I just think I crush more in black. I think you should just feature tonight. No headline. haha It's not you, it's just what you look like, you know, it's not your fault. It really is like that, though, in the culture a lot of time, bro. It really is. And basketball is like that. For you, bro. Yeah, I'm fucking I'm brown. I'm half black and half white. I'm fucking better than both of both races individually. Right. But you're not trusted by either. So I don't give a fuck, dog. Right. I'll stick to my own people. You from Arizona, right? Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. You know what I'm saying? That's it. That's how you that's how you roll, dog. Exactly. Right until you really need to roll you feel me? Yeah Roll is all relative to your surroundings I Like Arizona. It's a funny little place. It is like a smork is more than whatever you want It really is because there's not just like if you just anytime you think about a state you think of the big city So you think of Phoenix, but there's Prescott. There's a Where's Northern Arizona? What's it? What's his Northern Arizona? What? Northern Arizona. you think that's a place like staff fly staff? No, because you're in a right. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's like dude, there's like mountains and then there's greenery and then there's fucking we know dog. We got to think all about flagstaff waiting for you to say for 30. Yeah, okay. Well, I'm not fucking. So, you know, well, I got it. What are the other big cities? Wickenburg. One more. Tucson. Fair. One of the best comedy clubs in the country. Laughs. laughs is so fun. I haven't done that either. you know, as funny as he doesn't want anybody doing crowd work. The headliner is. But here's let me tell you this, Josh. Here's what I've learned about comedy club bookers and owners a lot of time, unless you're already a big name and you're big and like they have to book you because you're going to sell. It's like a B level club where they have the like stir crazy. They have the fans. The way you get in with them is is is a little bit different. If you introduce yourself as a headliner and only a headliner, that's how they take you. You know, Xander. Yeah, Xander. Xander has been hosting it. He got me on it last because he's like, yo, can you give me a ride? I'll get you a guest spot. And I did my thing and he's had me as like host. But then like I've gone back to him like I'm ready to feature. And Xander has been going for like 10 years, never featured. Zayd was like, yo, how'd you get on there, bro? I was like, I can do what Xander did for me and get you a guest spot and then hit up. Who's the fucking short dude who's always a feature out here? Gambler guy. fuck. Right. Brian. Yeah. He throws in a word for Zade and I throw in a word for Zade all of a sudden featuring that night and went from guest spot to feature. And now he's a feat. You know, he's like, it's like so clubs don't necessarily advance you like you think they do is like you've got to walk in like I'm a headliner. Yeah. So I did. I did do my first hour a couple of weeks ago at Prescott. It's fucking just easy, dude. It's just you got him. That's jokes. But. It's fun. The longer sets you get to do is way more fun. Absolutely. You just don't you just never get that practice until you get that practice. Yeah, no, for sure. Like there's no 55 minute open mic. Yeah, no real shit. Real shit. That's funny. Was that your first hour? Yeah. Damn, yeah. I did like 45 before. Good shit. But it's like. Yeah, I've done 45 several times. Yeah. 45 is like the first time I did 30 was way harder than. First time I did 45 man, like the first time I had to do 30. my god. Yeah Yeah, cuz dude you can go cuz I was like pretty much just material then yeah, but now 30 minutes Yeah, I love that like butter now, that's like a sweet spot Yeah, I'll go off I'll get comfy Harder and harder to get that much stage time. But the truth is, if you're looking at the real competition of it, this is a city, like I'm from Portland, where there's one comedy club. This is the place where actually there's a lot. It's like how many comedy clubs in general? All the bar shows, everything. Right, but if your goals are to do clubs, because if you get signed on by Funny Bone, you do all the Funny Bones. That's what you want, right? Or you want all the house of comedies like, well, that's six guaranteed weekends for the year that I'm getting this. It's like, that makes sense. So how are you getting those? And then there's like, there's the opener, the feature, the headliner. So let's say Phoenix there's in one weekend, there's 24, not counting guest spots, 24 paid spots for the, or 20, 21 plus usually the headliner is from out of town and brings their own features. So like really. fuck there's like two or three feature spots. And then the host. Or there's a one man show. And you really, I mean I've done feature spots out of town, like Dallas, El Paso, most of it was like 500, hotel covered, but I was lucky I got a ride out there. But like that would've just broke even. So really you don't even get a chance to make money doing shit until you're at that level. But even breaking even is rewarding. But I think so many people are so fucking not sure of themselves that. just like so many, I was just talking about this on the last episode I had where people are, some people are really good at being comedians, but they won't even call themselves, I guess I'm maybe a comedian. Like you are, you are. Yeah, real shit. And like also brand yourself as that because that's, you know, but then just, I don't know, I feel like once you own it and you say, fuck it, you really can't turn, dude, once I did comedy, like yeah, it's stand up for the first time. I was like, there's no going back from this. We crushed for the first time in a club. I didn't even crush. I just got some big laughs. And then I probably did like 20 bar mics. Club last. For the first time, like that's like getting like some like that's like getting some pierce some pierce snoz. There's no sneezing powder in this one. No, I mean, but also it's acoustic, man. It's like these these corporate places know how to build a fucking place and make it. conducive to comedy. Like, yeah, cause it's geared for comedy. Even if I didn't like comedy and I was like, this is what I need to do to make money, then I would do what makes sense. But it's also whoever's sharing their crowd with you. That's, that's, and that's where, especially in a corporate level, it's not the B level. Cause like laughs in Tucson is a fun place cause it probably seems like 200, but what the fuck are you going to do in Tucson? And it doesn't matter who the headliner is. They sell out almost all their shows. And it's like But you know, it's run. It's like it's just run old school But then there's like the big ones the improv the funny but all the corporate ones. It's like yeah, you're in you probably got an agent or manager I did like my first comedy festival this year in slow and it was like most people there had like a manager or an agent or like had writing gigs or something who cares but that's what I mean is like but you've never even heard of these opportunities available like one dude and was talking about last comic standing and he was like, he was like, yeah, they do this whole thing where everyone gets a fair chance. He's like, but like my agent came and told me like, yeah, like eight of these there's, there's, there's 10 spots they're going to give away. Eight of them are already guaranteed. And so the one minute audition doesn't count. And they're like, the last two is some weird people. We can film a documentary on to fill up the time of the episode, but they want to give you auto open, try out the, you know what I mean? But then you look at it. Like American Idol, you're like, how did they film those 15 minute documentaries within a 30 minute episode? They had it all ready. Honestly, that's the worst part. I hate fucking everybody having a sob story. Yeah. You know? Everybody struggled. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. Even if you like in... Talk about how you got to where you're at. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. I don't give a fuck. My grandma fucking her dying wish was for me to fucking sing. Okay, I don't believe in that like you need like all this like crazy trauma. Yeah, exactly Everybody comes on there. I had a pretty good everybody has a fucking issue, bro How do they keep finding like new issues like to prescribe medication? Can you imagine just like being just the best drug dealer in the world just put on your lab coat and be like here's the new disease just get thrushed it out there so you can put this new pill out instead of be like yeah they're kids they're just fun I can't say that I can I was like wait what but I get that people do that well okay so you don't do I get something you that road you died Adam fucking I stay high but hypothetical questions to death Can you guys really live for other you guys survive a nuclear here pop this purge? One of these for the road, thank you so much Josh you gotta pray before you eat Harrison and I'm so grateful that we had him on the podcast today and guys name. Amen. Amen. days. We know with a prayer, which like to say any of the people got anything coming up and he shows it. He just brings paper plates, but get card board. Yeah, it is like a serving trade that he's brain painted fucking chrome. he call it. We're done. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the funny truth podcast with our guest Joshua Harrison, one of the best crowd work comedians and roast battle comics working today in comedy. And I stand by that and I'm calling it now before everyone's heard his name. You can follow him at the funniest Joshua on Instagram, YouTube and Tik TOK. All that will be in the show notes links provided guys. I want to thank you so much for listening. to the funny truth podcast and please make sure you subscribe and leave us a review if you like listening to our podcast for new episodes dropping weekly. I'm Adam J and you've listened to the funny truth podcast. That is the funny truth.